“You missed it – she said “hi” while you were gone.”

“No she didn’t.”

“Yes, yes she did! It sounded like this…’Haaaii!’”

“She’s been making that sound since she was 3 weeks old.”

“No, it was a WORD this time, I swear! I asked her if she could say it and she DID!”

“Babies don’t talk at 3 months.”

“She did. I heard her. She’s a genious.”

“You’re delusional.”

“You’ll see. Her next word is going to be ‘MAMA.’”

“You missed it – she said “hi” while you were gone.”

“No she didn’t.”

“Yes, yes she did! It sounded like this…‘Haaaii!’”

“She’s been making that sound since she was 3 weeks old.”

“No, it was a WORD this time, I swear! I asked her if she could say it and she DID!”

“Babies don’t talk at 3 months.”

“She did. I heard her. She’s a genious.”

“You’re delusional.”

“You’ll see. Her next word is going to be ‘MAMA.’”

This is the face my boss saw when he walked into my office the other day while I had my shirt pulled up to my neck and was in the middle of using my breast pump. It went something like this…

Him: (knocking on door)

Me: DON’T COME IN!

Him: (opening the door)

Me: (hiding behind computer monitor)

Him: Did you get an email from so-and-so?

Me: What the…??? If I say no, will you GO AWAY???

I’m still not sure if he even noticed. I was very grateful for a well-placed computer monitor. Perhaps I should start hanging a sign outside my door.

We still don’t have a nanny for Kaelin, which means that as of February 20th, we’ll be in a bit of a pickle. Ideally, Jens’ home-based business that he is trying to put together will take off just in time to generate enough income that he can work from home and be there with her. But we’re not exactly counting on it.

This is the face my boss saw when he walked into my office the other day while I had my shirt pulled up to my neck and was in the middle of using my breast pump. It went something like this…

Him: (knocking on door)

Me: DON’T COME IN!

Him: (opening the door)

Me: (hiding behind computer monitor)

Him: Did you get an email from so-and-so?

Me: What the…??? If I say no, will you GO AWAY???

I’m still not sure if he even noticed. I was very grateful for a well-placed computer monitor. Perhaps I should start hanging a sign outside my door.

We still don’t have a nanny for Button, which means that as of February 20th, we’ll be in a bit of a pickle. Ideally, J’s home-based business that he is trying to put together will take off just in time to generate enough income that he can work from home and be there with her. But we’re not exactly counting on it.

I was wondering when this would start. It’s inevitable, I think. I’m reading my weekly “Your Baby” email and see:

“Your baby may be strong enough now to do mini-pushups, lifting her head and chest off the ground for a better view. To encourage her, try placing her on her stomach on a play mat for short periods of time every day. You’ll be surprised at how quickly she learns to raise her upper body to see what’s going on around her.”

…and my first thought is oh no, Kaelin has no interest or ability at ALL to do mini-push ups! My child is developmentally behind!

It’s true. We try to put her on her stomach for “tummy time.” It just pisses her off. She can’t push up and doesn’t see the need to. She cries and looks at us like, “You idiots, did I look like I WANTED to do a face plant in the carpet??? Now stand me up so I can tell the baby in the mirror all about it.”

She loves to practice standing, so my only solace is to hope that she’ll just skip crawling all together and go straight to walking. My child isn’t developmentally deficient, she’s a GENIUS. So there.

I was wondering when this would start. It’s inevitable, I think. I’m reading my weekly “Your Baby” email and see:

“Your baby may be strong enough now to do mini-pushups, lifting her head and chest off the ground for a better view. To encourage her, try placing her on her stomach on a play mat for short periods of time every day. You’ll be surprised at how quickly she learns to raise her upper body to see what’s going on around her.”

…and my first thought is oh no, Button has no interest or ability at ALL to do mini-push ups! My child is developmentally behind!

It’s true. We try to put her on her stomach for “tummy time.” It just pisses her off. She can’t push up and doesn’t see the need to. She cries and looks at us like, “You idiots, did I look like I WANTED to do a face plant in the carpet??? Now stand me up so I can tell the baby in the mirror all about it.”

She loves to practice standing, so my only solace is to hope that she’ll just skip crawling all together and go straight to walking. My child isn’t developmentally deficient, she’s a GENIUS. So there.

Three months already! She has changed so much and every day is more fun than the last. She is beginning to be capable of playing with her toys and is reaching for things she wants to explore. She has figured out that if you kick this one, the music plays, and if you jump in this one, the little bear dances (though we have to put a box under her feet in the Jumperoo because she’s not yet tall enough to touch the ground otherwise).

She still hates getting dressed and will tolerate about 3/4 of one outfit. But heaven forbid if she spits up on that one and you have to change her again…she screams like a banshee as though you’re sawing her arms off. We haven’t quite figured out what’s so tortuous about changing clothes, but apparently it’s quite traumatic. She does like diaper changes now though and prefers to spend a few minutes kicking around on the changing table without the diaper. Fortunately, we haven’t had any mishaps lately, like the “super-poo-launch-all-over-dad” incident several weeks ago.

We have figured out the secret to burping. The traditional pat-the-back method was unreliable at best. But we’ve since discovered that if we let her practice standing (her favorite game) after a meal, she’ll rip one like a football player after 3 liters of soda. Works every time. Her Aunt Iris is very proud of Kaelin’s belching talent.

She has also put herself on a bedtime schedule recently. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t get her to sleep downstairs the other night, regardless of the amount of walking, etc that we did. Finally I took her upstairs (awake), laid her in her bed and tucked her in, and turned on the music. Within 30 seconds she was asleep. She’ll nap almost anywhere, but when it comes time for bed, it’s time for BED and she won’t have it any other way. Fine by me.

We’re still up 2-3 times a night with feedings, and it’s getting a little wearing at best. I’m looking forward to the day she sleeps through the night. Actually, I’m just looking forward to the day I sleep through the night.

“I’m tempted to wear a sleeveless shirt today because it’s been so HOT in our office recently. But I know as soon as I do, they’ll fix the heat and I’ll freeze to death.”

“Kind of like a june bug when it falls in the pool?”

“I’M GOING TO HURT YOU.”

“This mobile of Kaelin’s is the coolest baby toy ever.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of like a june bug.”

“SHUT UP.”

When I was younger, in my everpresent desire to express goodwill to the animal kingdom, I would often tour the pool’s skimmer baskets to rescue frogs and other happless little creatures that found themselves entrapped.

One of my charity cases was June Bugs. By the time I found them in the skimmer, they were usually dead, but if I happened to see one fly into the pool, I would scoop it up and set it on the side. Much to my frustration, the rescued creatures would often immediately take another nose dive into the pool toward as though they had a death wish…and zero appreciation for my attempts of salvation.

Not the smartest members of creation.

In another effort to rescue a hapless creature yesterday, I put our cat on the opposite side of the pet gate as the dog, in an effort to salvage the fur he has left after an intense wrestling match. J witnessed the situation.

“He must enjoy getting mauled by the dog. I did the same thing last night and he just jumped right back over.”

“I know, it’s an endless cycle. It’s like a june bug that dives right back into the pool.”

“Yeah…he’s like a…june…bug.”

“SHUT UP.”

“I’m tempted to wear a sleeveless shirt today because it’s been so HOT in our office recently. But I know as soon as I do, they’ll fix the heat and I’ll freeze to death.”

“Kind of like a june bug when it falls in the pool?”

“I’M GOING TO HURT YOU.”

“This mobile of Kaelin’s is the coolest baby toy ever.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of like a june bug.”

“SHUT UP.”