This coming Thursday will mark 3 weeks since Koren was born.  How is it going?  Well.  Really well, I can’t deny it.  Most of that can be credited to the amount of time he spends sleeping.  Particularly at night.  I know I keep talking about this (and did I mention?  He SLEEPS?  AT NIGHT?) but you have no idea what a difference it makes.

Kaelin was a pretty easy baby.  But there were nights during her infancy when I would have given my left arm in exchange for a few consecutive hours of sleep.  For that matter, there were nights where I would have given her left arm for a few consecutive hours of sleep.  Jens can tell you that I don’t do well when deprived of sleep – a fact he learned while diving out of the path of the laser beams that shot out of my eyes because he had done something utterly offensive, like breathe. 

I’m sure that the derangement caused by lack of sleep colored my judgment and assessment of parenthood the first time around.  Also, there was the fact that I was a newbie, and the thought of being in charge?  Of a real human life?  By myself during the day?  Was sort of akin to someone saying, “Here, hold on to this hand grenade for a while and don’t do anything to piss it off.”

This time around, I know that the world isn’t going to cave in if the baby has to fuss for a minute or two before I can passify him.  I am reasonably confident that nobody is going to break into my house in the middle of the night and abscond with my child.  I don’t feel the compulsion to look in on him every three seconds while he’s sleeping to make sure he’s still breathing.  I have learned the difference between a receiving blanket and a washcloth, and realized that when you use the latter to mop up baby messes, it makes much less laundry.  I’ve stopped trying to fit my day into a schedule and am content to get done whatever I can.  I’m comfortable with the state of my house, even though it’s not pristine.  The dishes get cleaned, the laundry gets done – though it may remain folded and stacked on the couch or scattered around the living room for several days.

Overall, there’s much less stress this time around, despite the fact that I now have two “bosses” to appease.  There are of course times when they’re both fussing at the same time and I have to pick and choose which one to see to immediately and which one can wait.  The choice usually comes down to who is screaming the loudest.

Koren eats a lot.  In addition to the fact that he makes up for “missed” nighttime meals during the day, he’s also becoming quite a snacker – preferring to nurse, nap, nurse again, nap, take half a 2-oz bottle, nap, take the rest of the bottle, nap some more.  Sometimes he ends up eating every hour this way.  I’m not sure why this doesn’t bother me, but at this point it doesn’t.  When the summer is over and I need to fit our schedules into more of a routine, it will probably start to become a hindrance.  But I’m choosing to deal with that when we get there. 

The only thing that is starting to bother me is the fact that he doesn’t seem to like breastfeeding.  I basically have to wrestle him into it each time and it gets a little tiresome. 

Sometimes I think we’d both be happier just to switch him completely to bottles and formula.  Especially that indignant part of me that is all, “Dude, you’re the one who has it EASY, all you have to do is latch on and get a free meal.  I’M the one dealing with the soreness, the leaking, the engorgement, and YOU’RE going to get all snobby about this???  I have one word for you: MASTITIS.  And also, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO GIVE UP SOFT DRINKS???” 

Babies.  You just can’t reason with them.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get some sleep.

This evening I asked Kaelin if she wanted to take some pictures with Koren.  Her answer was a very enthusiastic YES… the enthusiasm lasted all of about 10 minutes before she decided she’d rather do something else, but here’s what we got during that time…

Well, the worst is over. We’ve hit the 2 week mark and I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I find it funny how everyone prepares you for pregnancy and delivery, but nobody really talks about what recovery will be like. Even if everything goes well with the delivery, the first week is hell.

The bruising. The bleeding. The hemorrhoids that bleed and hurt when you stand, and worse when you sit. The diapers and ice packs and tucks pads and creams that you have to stuff into hospital-issued mesh panties. The anesthetic spray that doesn’t do a damned thing. The squirt bottle you have to use instead of toilet paper every single time you pee. The extra bleeding and pain brought on every time you poop. The dreadfully sore nipples that scream every time a piece of fabric brushes up against them – not to mention when a little baby attacks them with a hungry mouth. The sitz baths, sitting there shivering in 2 inches of water that comes up just far enough to tickle your butt crack, knowing that the only thing you really want from life at that moment – to sink into a full bath of warm water – is off limits for 5 more weeks.

Yep. Postpartum Week One genuinely SUCKS.

Week Two is better, but still comes with trials of its own. The pain starts to give way to the sharp insatiable itching that comes with any healing wound – itching that can’t be scratched because it’s either in an inaccessible part of your body, or doing so would result in intense pain. The bruising begins to heal, meaning that you can walk without waddling. The more minor hemorrhoids start to disappear. The belly loses the remainder of its pregnancy weight, leaving you with the poundage that you’ll actually have to work to lose. Invariably, it’s more than you expected (ouch) and the bathroom scale becomes the enemy once again.

But once that two-week mark comes around, the sun begins to shine again. It also helps being able to take the baby out, because feeling like a prisoner trapped in your own house can make you crazy.

But in the end, you realize that the pain and agony are temporary and that you will be left with this:

Totally worth it.

Kaelin has been hearing “The doctor said…” a lot recently as reasons why Mama can’t do anything fun.  Obviously The Doctor is some sort of supreme being whose authority cannot be challenged, and that’s why Mama can’t swim, carry around 30-pound toddlers, take baths, run laps around the dining table, etc.

This conversation took place this afternoon after I put her down for her nap:

Mama: Kaelin, stop talking and go to sleep.
Kaelin: I already went to sleep.  It’s time to get up.
Mama: No, you didn’t.  You have to go to sleep before you can get up.
Kaelin: The Doctor said I could get up.

Nice try, kiddo.

This past weekend, Jens’ sister SoRa came down from Seattle to visit her new nephew.  Unfortunately she wasn’t able to be with us for very long, but we all enjoyed a relaxing and fun weekend.

Kaelin continues to think her little brother is the coolest thing since sliced bread, which is a trend we hope continues for many years.  Or at least until he steals her diary and runs around the house threatening to tell everyone about all her boy crushes.  Not that anybody’s little brother would EVER do that (ahem…Jonathan…ahem).

The inevitable happened this week when Koren caught Kaelin’s cold.  He was none to pleased about the extra mucus, but seems to have inherited my ability to “sleep it off.”  He’s been asleep for virtually 2 days straight and seems much better today.  I even got to take him on his first non-doctor-visit outing this morning, when Jens’ mom Cyndy and I trekked over to the Crate & Barrel Outlet.

Kaelin really likes letting Koren use her finger as a pacifier:

And one gratuitous cat picture because he recently discovered the mirror and spends entirely too much time examining himself in it:

Ok, I’m totally afraid to write about this, for fear that as soon as I do it will *POOF* disappear.  But the child… he SLEEPS.  AT NIGHT.  At first I thought it was just the Vicodin.  But I haven’t taken any pain meds in 3 days and for the past 3 nights Koren has slept really well every night.

I even have to wake him up between 4 and 5am to feed him.  This is such a novelty because Kaelin was not a very reliable night sleeper.  She’d wake up hungry around midnight and it was sort of a crap shoot whether or not she would go back to sleep, or whether we would have hours of walking, holding, and bouncing into the wee hours of the morning.  Sometime around six months old, she started sleeping through the night reliably.

So after preparing myself for another 6 months of that, to have Koren sleeping at night at 6 DAYS old… I’m almost beside myself.  Now let’s hope he keeps this up because I’m very quickly getting used to it.

This kid is too cool.

I now fully understand why nursing mothers get addicted to Vicodin. Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with the narcotic or addictive properties of the medication. It is because, when taken in the evening, THE BABE, HE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT.

Dude, sleep is way more addicting than narcotics.

Kaelin is in a “do it herself” mode of potty training.  She doesn’t want help pulling her pants down.  She doesn’t want help getting onto the potty.  She most definitely doesn’t want anybody watching. 

And apparently she even wants to do her own pep talks.

I’m sitting outside the door waiting for her to finish her business, when I hear the following from inside the bathroom:

“Go poop, Kaelin.  GO KAELIN GO!  Go poop, GO KAELIN GO!”  (followed by grunts)

Also, we reached a new milestone in potty training last night, completely by accident.  Nobody remembered to change Kaelin out of her big girl panties before putting her to bed.  And this morning when I have her a bath, they were still dry. 

My kid rocks.

I now fully understand why nursing mothers get addicted to Vicodin.  Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with the narcotic or addictive properties of the medication.  It is because, when taken in the evening, THE BABE, HE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT.  Dude, sleep is way more addicting than narcotics.

Today Koren had his 2-day followup appointment which was really on his 5th day because the weekend interfered.  Things went well except it appears he’s developed a bit of jaundice and it took forever because after the appointment we had to trek to the hospital lab so they could extract blood from his heel, which he was none too pleased about.

Before the appointment I picked him up to change his diaper and found that he was leaky.  I changed his clothes, changed his diaper, and immediately he peed again before I could be sure the new diaper was properly un-folded in the back and it leaked again.  So I changed him AGAIN, nursed him a bit and he promptly blew out some very enthusiastic and messy farts.  I delegated the 3rd changing of the diaper to Jens.

At the appointment they had me strip him down to his diaper, and then he got cold so I picked him up.  Pee spilled out of his diaper and all over my shirt.  WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY I EVEN BOTHER PUTTING DIAPERS ON THIS KID??? 

I had brought a change of clothes for him, but didn’t expect to need one for myself so I spent the next few hours with a giant pee stain all over the front of my shirt.  Which wasn’t noticeable for long because as soon as we drove into the parking lot of the hospital lab, it started raining torrents.  I dropped my MIL off with Koren at the entrance and Kaelin and I made the journey through the parking lot (which more resembled a lake) and got totally soaked.  Our measly umbrella was no match for the flood waters pouring down on us and we spent a very soggy hour at the lab.

When we got home I changed into a clean shirt and changed Koren’s diaper, which fortunately had NOT leaked this time.  Jens came into the room and I looked up at him.  When I looked back down at my baby, there was a stream of pee shooting over the side of the changing table.

Koren got a bath.  I cleaned pee off the table, the floor and his ill-placed laundry hamper.

Shortly before dinner, we were all up in the media room and Kaelin was getting out some energy running around and chasing the dog.  She fell and got a minor owie, but wanted to sit with me while she recovered.  And then she puked on me.

We cleaned up and got her calmed down and she sat in my lap.  Apparently she was still in shock over the puking incident because she didn’t seem to notice that she was peeing on my leg. 

We rushed to the potty to finish her business and as I was going downstairs to change my shorts I noticed that all the dirty puke tissues had been removed from the trash can and scattered around the floor.  There are times I wish we didn’t have a dog.  I cleaned up the mess and rushed downstairs before anybody else could pee, puke or poop on me.

ANYBODY WANNA COME DO MY LAUNDRY?

Then tonight I was home alone with both kids while everyone else went to get dinner and I let Kaelin watch some Veggie Tales.  Toward the end of the show, I came up behind her and bent down to kiss her on the cheek.  She looked up at me and smiled. 

“Mom, you’re the BEST.”

And for that moment, I would do the whole day over again.