Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

Amby Baby Hammock

Filed under: Parenting — Amy @ 4:42 pm

I’ve just discovered that I think I need an Amby.  Or rather, I think Koren needs one.  Has anyone tried one of these?

More Random Bullets

Filed under: Kaelin,Koren,Parenting — Amy @ 2:44 pm

One day I’ll get back to paragraph form.  But this is not that day.

  • Lack of consecutive sleeping hours is starting to affect me.  I forgot my phone number yesterday while leaving a phone message.  FORGOT MY PHONE NUMBER.  Not the “temporary lapse where you get lost halfway through and have to start over to get it right” … FORGOT as in, couldn’t remember it, tried to save it, failed miserably, had to leave a different number and after I hung up spent several minutes going WHAT THE HECK IS MY PHONE NUMBER?  HEY LOOK, SOMETHING SHINY…
  • I also forgot to feed my daughter dinner.  Completely spaced it.  Mother of the Year Award, here I come.  Fortunately, Daddo stepped up and took care of it, which I didn’t even know about until after I put her to bed and realized my neglect.
  • Today I had to explain the term “chick magnet” to Kaelin.  Easier said than done.  Magnets are supposed to stick to the refrigerator, doncha know.
  • Today I took Koren and Kaelin and Kaelin’s imaginary friend Junior to Dairy Queen for ice cream.  Junior likes vanilla blizzards with M&M’s, which I only know because I accidentally ordered ice cream for my daughter’s imaginary friend.  SIGH.  Kaelin only at 3 bites, but apparently Junior was quite pleased with the treat.  That makes one of us.
  • Koren fussed a lot today.  He’s still fussing but I’m off duty for a few minutes.  Hopefully it means he’ll sleep really well tonight.
  • Random Tidbits

    Filed under: Kaelin,Koren,Parenting,Such is Life — Amy @ 8:54 am

    Bullet points today because I don’t have enough to say to make a “real” entry.

  • I don’t consider the word “hyper” to be a particularly complimentary term.  I therefore wouldn’t strike up a conversation with a complete stranger by commenting that her child is “hyper,” especially in a setting where kids are SUPPOSED to be running around. Apparently the woman at the mall play center felt differently.  I didn’t know how to respond to that since I don’t really think Kaelin is “hyper.”  I think she’s TWO.  But whatever.
  • Speaking of things I’ve been told by women at the mall… apparently it’s time to take my diet more seriously.  The store clerk asked me when my due date was.  Evidently she was too distracted by my still-protruding belly to notice that I was HOLDING MY BABY.
  • Kaelin is learning how to use a computer by herself.  She can now operate the mouse and has spent the last half hour entertaining herself with the Nick Jr. Stories and videos.  We expect her to finish building her first website by the end of the month.
  • Koren’s acne is starting to bug me.  It’s really bad.  All over his face and head and now it’s moving down to his shoulders and chest.  It’s not the little whiteheads that Kaelin had for a few weeks – it’s those painful looking red bumps and splotches that teenagers with really bad acne get.  And it makes his skin really rough and crusty.  I hope it doesn’t scar.  I just wish it would go away.  He has such a sweet, beautiful little face underneath.
  • He’s starting to make baby noises.  They’re adorable.  The other day Jens cracked a joke and I kid you not, Koren let out what sounded like a giggle.  Ok, so he was asleep, but still.
  • We have been so spoiled lately.  We’ve had an outpouring of friends from our BF class bring us some rather delicious dinners over the past several weeks.  Thank you to everyone who has been so generous, we have thoroughly enjoyed the convenience and variety of having someone else cook for us!  And the desserts have pretty much sabotaged my diet, but they were totally worth it.  Mmmm…
  • That’s all for now.
  • The Warden

    Filed under: Kaelin,Parenting — Amy @ 3:20 pm

    Does anyone else’s kid refuse to eat from time to time?  This took place at lunch today:

    Kaelin, eat your nuggets.
    Put the box down.
    Open the box back up.
    Pick up a nugget.
    Put it in your mouth.
    No, don’t lick it.  Take a bite.
    That’s not a bite.
    Well it wasn’t a big enough bite.
    Take another bite.
    That doesn’t even count as a bite.  Take a big bite.
    No, you don’t need more milk until you eat that nugget.
    Pick it back up.
    Put it in your mouth.
    Ok fine, take a bite.
    No, you have to eat the whole thing.
    Ok, you don’t have to eat it all at once, but you have to take bites.
    Stop trying to negotiate.
    Stop playing with it.
    That was not a suggestion.
    Eat the nugget.
    Put it in your mouth and take a bite.
    Don’t you dare drop that on the floor.
    Take another bite.
    It’s in your lap, pick it up and eat it.
    Kaelin, give me that bottle cap.
    Stop playing with your fingers.
    If you would take reasonable sized bites, you could be done in two bites.
    That doesn’t count as two bites.  You have to eat the whole thing.
    Put it in your mouth and take a bite.
    CHEW IT.
    No, you cannot play until you eat your food.
    No, you cannot have the toy until you eat your food.
    Get your hands out of the ketchup.
    No, you cannot have dessert unless you eat your food.
    Half a nugget does not count as eating your food.
    I’m going to count to three and if there isn’t a big bite of nugget in your mouth, you’re going to time out.
    1… 2… That’s better.
    Keep chewing.
    Your mouth isn’t too full, just keep chewing.
    If you spit that out you’re going to put it back in your mouth and eat it again.
    Ok, you can have some milk now.
    Stop playing with the straw.
    You’re making a mess.
    Stop blowing bubbles.
    At what point did you forget how to drink milk?
    Ok, you’re done with milk.
    No, we can’t play a game until you finish your nuggets.
    Pick up the nugget. 
    Put it in your mouth.
    Chew it.
    Swallow it.
    Thank you.

    And that was just the FIRST nugget.  It took 45 minutes of my undivided attention to get her to eat all four of them.


    Another Day

    Filed under: Kaelin,Koren,Parenting — Amy @ 9:28 am

    “Jens, I need a little help here!”

    He came running into the bathroom to find me standing in a lake of water that was flowing over the tiled floor in waves and seeping into the carpet at the bathroom entrance.

    There are two places I can leave Kaelin unsupervised for a period of time longer than 10 minutes:  in front of the TV and in the bath tub.  Consequently, she’s been getting a lot of baths recently.

    This morning she decided to empty her bath tub onto the floor via a watering can she uses as a bath toy.

    Sigh.  It took approximately 10 towels to mop up the mess.

    On a brighter note, Koren is on his second nap of the day.  Which automatically makes today 1,000 times better than yesterday no matter how much flood damage we end up repairing.

    He’s So Cute When He Sleeps

    Filed under: Kaelin,Koren,Parenting — Amy @ 5:34 pm

    Koren seems to alternate daily between “perfect angel” and “virtually inconsolable.”  We’re not really sure why that is, but one thing is certain: Today was the latter.  By late morning I was ready to put both kids up for sale on eBay.

    Suffice it to say I think I’ve just decided to call it quits with two kids because there is no possible way I’d be able to survive a third without a full-time nanny.  Or a lobotomy.

    Today started off a little iffy, as I ended up with the night shift and the morning shift and the day shift, due to some scheduling conflicts with Jens.  Which means I was sleep deprived to start out with, and therefore less capable of handling … well, anything.

    The highlight of my day was our errand out to lunch, followed by ice cream, because it was the only part of the day where Koren actually slept and Kaelin was happy.  Well, that and there was that 30 minutes of silence in the afternoon while Kaelin was taking her (irritatingly short) nap and that dryer trick actually worked again.  Unfortunately, we didn’t even get through a cycle.

    In the past when Koren was having a bad day, I’ve only had him to deal with, as it was always on a day when Kaelin happened to be at my mom’s.  Today I felt bad for Kaelin because it’s remarkably difficult to entertain a toddler with a crying baby in your arms.  Especially when she wants you to sit down and do an activity with her, but any pause in the walking/bouncing/rocking routine only increases the decibel level of the crying.  And don’t even THINK about putting him down in the rocky swing.  That maneuver wore out its welcome two weeks ago.

    So she was bored a lot of the day and heard “no” a lot of the day, which made for a grumpy Kaelin and a guilty Mama.

    At about 5:30pm, Jens got off work and volunteered to take Koren for an hour long car ride while I stayed at home with Kaelin.  I’m not sure what prompted that, but it might have something to do with that time he walked into the sun room and found me in a fetal position, rocking back and forth and muttering gibberish while Koren screamed on the couch. 

    So Kaelin and I spun in wild circles, yelled and played chase, tickle-bug and hide-and-go-seek to get out my frustration her energy.  By the time the boys came home I was no longer exhibiting signs of trauma, though I decided that my diet could pretty much bite me today and actually ate a real dinner (if mac & cheese can be considered a “real” dinner).

    Here’s hoping tomorrow falls into the “perfect angel” category.  Actually, anything above “angry flailing fire-breathing gremlin” would be an improvement. 

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get some sleep.

    5 Steps to Soothing a Fussy Baby

    Filed under: Koren,Parenting — Amy @ 11:44 am

    … or “How I Kept From Losing My Ever-Loving Mind Today.”

    1.  Find car seat.
    2.  Insert and secure Fussy Baby Who Refuses to Take His Morning Nap Despite a Full Tummy, Clean Diaper, Rocky Swing, Music, Bouncing, Tummy Time, Sling, Walking Time, and a Car Ride, and Holy Mother Butler Go To Sleep Already Because Mama is THIS CLOSE to Developing a Severe Case of Tourette’s.  %@#!$&.
    3.  Place car seat on top of dryer.
    4.  Turn dryer on 60-minute air fluff cycle.
    5.  Walk away.

    Optional Steps:
    6.  Hit self on forehead repeatedly for not thinking of that during the previous 3 hours when you were supposed to be working.
    7.  Rock back and forth a little.
    8.  Breathing exercises.
    9.  Get back to work.

    Baby The Second

    Filed under: Koren,Parenting — Amy @ 6:25 pm

    This coming Thursday will mark 3 weeks since Koren was born.  How is it going?  Well.  Really well, I can’t deny it.  Most of that can be credited to the amount of time he spends sleeping.  Particularly at night.  I know I keep talking about this (and did I mention?  He SLEEPS?  AT NIGHT?) but you have no idea what a difference it makes.

    Kaelin was a pretty easy baby.  But there were nights during her infancy when I would have given my left arm in exchange for a few consecutive hours of sleep.  For that matter, there were nights where I would have given her left arm for a few consecutive hours of sleep.  Jens can tell you that I don’t do well when deprived of sleep – a fact he learned while diving out of the path of the laser beams that shot out of my eyes because he had done something utterly offensive, like breathe. 

    I’m sure that the derangement caused by lack of sleep colored my judgment and assessment of parenthood the first time around.  Also, there was the fact that I was a newbie, and the thought of being in charge?  Of a real human life?  By myself during the day?  Was sort of akin to someone saying, “Here, hold on to this hand grenade for a while and don’t do anything to piss it off.”

    This time around, I know that the world isn’t going to cave in if the baby has to fuss for a minute or two before I can passify him.  I am reasonably confident that nobody is going to break into my house in the middle of the night and abscond with my child.  I don’t feel the compulsion to look in on him every three seconds while he’s sleeping to make sure he’s still breathing.  I have learned the difference between a receiving blanket and a washcloth, and realized that when you use the latter to mop up baby messes, it makes much less laundry.  I’ve stopped trying to fit my day into a schedule and am content to get done whatever I can.  I’m comfortable with the state of my house, even though it’s not pristine.  The dishes get cleaned, the laundry gets done – though it may remain folded and stacked on the couch or scattered around the living room for several days.

    Overall, there’s much less stress this time around, despite the fact that I now have two “bosses” to appease.  There are of course times when they’re both fussing at the same time and I have to pick and choose which one to see to immediately and which one can wait.  The choice usually comes down to who is screaming the loudest.

    Koren eats a lot.  In addition to the fact that he makes up for “missed” nighttime meals during the day, he’s also becoming quite a snacker – preferring to nurse, nap, nurse again, nap, take half a 2-oz bottle, nap, take the rest of the bottle, nap some more.  Sometimes he ends up eating every hour this way.  I’m not sure why this doesn’t bother me, but at this point it doesn’t.  When the summer is over and I need to fit our schedules into more of a routine, it will probably start to become a hindrance.  But I’m choosing to deal with that when we get there. 

    The only thing that is starting to bother me is the fact that he doesn’t seem to like breastfeeding.  I basically have to wrestle him into it each time and it gets a little tiresome. 

    Sometimes I think we’d both be happier just to switch him completely to bottles and formula.  Especially that indignant part of me that is all, “Dude, you’re the one who has it EASY, all you have to do is latch on and get a free meal.  I’M the one dealing with the soreness, the leaking, the engorgement, and YOU’RE going to get all snobby about this???  I have one word for you: MASTITIS.  And also, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO GIVE UP SOFT DRINKS???” 

    Babies.  You just can’t reason with them.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get some sleep.

    Two Weeks

    Filed under: Health...or Lack Thereof,Koren,Parenting — Amy @ 2:33 pm

    Well, the worst is over. We’ve hit the 2 week mark and I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I find it funny how everyone prepares you for pregnancy and delivery, but nobody really talks about what recovery will be like. Even if everything goes well with the delivery, the first week is hell.

    The bruising. The bleeding. The hemorrhoids that bleed and hurt when you stand, and worse when you sit. The diapers and ice packs and tucks pads and creams that you have to stuff into hospital-issued mesh panties. The anesthetic spray that doesn’t do a damned thing. The squirt bottle you have to use instead of toilet paper every single time you pee. The extra bleeding and pain brought on every time you poop. The dreadfully sore nipples that scream every time a piece of fabric brushes up against them – not to mention when a little baby attacks them with a hungry mouth. The sitz baths, sitting there shivering in 2 inches of water that comes up just far enough to tickle your butt crack, knowing that the only thing you really want from life at that moment – to sink into a full bath of warm water – is off limits for 5 more weeks.

    Yep. Postpartum Week One genuinely SUCKS.

    Week Two is better, but still comes with trials of its own. The pain starts to give way to the sharp insatiable itching that comes with any healing wound – itching that can’t be scratched because it’s either in an inaccessible part of your body, or doing so would result in intense pain. The bruising begins to heal, meaning that you can walk without waddling. The more minor hemorrhoids start to disappear. The belly loses the remainder of its pregnancy weight, leaving you with the poundage that you’ll actually have to work to lose. Invariably, it’s more than you expected (ouch) and the bathroom scale becomes the enemy once again.

    But once that two-week mark comes around, the sun begins to shine again. It also helps being able to take the baby out, because feeling like a prisoner trapped in your own house can make you crazy.

    But in the end, you realize that the pain and agony are temporary and that you will be left with this:


    Totally worth it.


    Filed under: Koren,Parenting — Amy @ 3:10 pm

    Ok, I’m totally afraid to write about this, for fear that as soon as I do it will *POOF* disappear.  But the child… he SLEEPS.  AT NIGHT.  At first I thought it was just the Vicodin.  But I haven’t taken any pain meds in 3 days and for the past 3 nights Koren has slept really well every night.

    I even have to wake him up between 4 and 5am to feed him.  This is such a novelty because Kaelin was not a very reliable night sleeper.  She’d wake up hungry around midnight and it was sort of a crap shoot whether or not she would go back to sleep, or whether we would have hours of walking, holding, and bouncing into the wee hours of the morning.  Sometime around six months old, she started sleeping through the night reliably.

    So after preparing myself for another 6 months of that, to have Koren sleeping at night at 6 DAYS old… I’m almost beside myself.  Now let’s hope he keeps this up because I’m very quickly getting used to it.

    This kid is too cool.


    Filed under: Koren,Parenting — Amy @ 9:41 am

    I now fully understand why nursing mothers get addicted to Vicodin. Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with the narcotic or addictive properties of the medication. It is because, when taken in the evening, THE BABE, HE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT.

    Dude, sleep is way more addicting than narcotics.


    Filed under: Koren,Parenting — Amy @ 6:38 am

    I now fully understand why nursing mothers get addicted to Vicodin.  Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with the narcotic or addictive properties of the medication.  It is because, when taken in the evening, THE BABE, HE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT.  Dude, sleep is way more addicting than narcotics.

    About Me

    Hi. I'm Amy. I started this website in 2005 as a place to deposit my journal and photos. It has gone through a few incarnations and masquerades as a family site, but since I'm the only one who contributes to it, it's really all about ME, ME, ME.

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