Archive for the ‘People’ Category

Best. Quote. Ever.

Filed under: People,ROFL — Amy @ 7:43 am

Dr. Henry Lindlahr

(Well, best medical quote anyway…)

And you thought Advil was harmless…

(emphasis added by me)

Headache powders, pain killers, opiates, sedatives and hypnotics may paralyze brain and nerves into temporary insensibility; but, if due to constitutional causes, the pain, nervousness and insomnia will always return with redoubled force. If taken habitually, these agents invariably tend to create heart disease and paralysis, and ultimately develop the patient into a dope fiend.

…Each drug breeds new disease symptoms which are in their turn “cured” by other poisons, until the insane asylum or merciful death rings down the curtain on the tragedy of a ruined life.

This and other nuggets of medical wisdom are available in Dr. Henry Lindlahr’s book, Natural Therapies.

Other highlights include:

  • How white blood cells are actually evil pathogens and only look like cells because they are squeezed into that shape as they pass through the spleen.
  • How masturbation is the fault of parents for engaging in sexual activity while the woman was pregnant
  • How every ailment you suffer is a result of your own violation of the laws of nature

Unalakleet: People

Filed under: Culture Shock,Friends,People,Travel — Amy @ 9:21 pm

One of the noticeable pieces of Eskimo culture is that there’s a strong history of storytelling.  When folks get together, they tell stories of funny things that happened last year, 10 years ago, or when their parents were young.  And no matter how many times a story has been told and retold, it gets the same uproarious laughter when the punchline is reached.

When Jens’ family gets together, approximately 50% of the conversation consists of stories or updates about people from Unalakleet.  Having no visual or experiential point of reference whatsoever, when the conversation veers that way my eyes typically glaze over and I start thinking about whatever project I’m currently trying to muddle my way through, while half-listening with one ear.

So I was really pumped about finally MEETING some of these people and being able to put faces and places to the names.  Here are just a few…

Joel and Olga

Joel and Olga, our hosts while we were in UNK.

Joel is the pastor of the Unalakleet Covenant Church.

Inside the Covenant Church. The recess behind the pulpit used to be curtained off, and when Jens was 1 he would run back there during the sermon to poop behind the curtain. I hope he doesn't mind me announcing that to the world.

Oyoumicks

This is Joel Jr. and his family - wife Sarah and two boys, Jonas and Lucas. Joel Jr. has been Jens' friend since they were 2. We call him Joey to avoid confusion, even though he doesn't really like it.

Sarah

This is Sarah, Joey's wife. She grew up in the lower 48 and moved to rural Alaska after college to teach. She picks berries and fishes and combs qiviut out of musk ox pelts and smokes salmon and helps with the children's ministry at church. She raises two boys in a 400 square foot house and keeps them from killing each other while her husband works long hours as a pilot. She's sweet, classy and totally awesome.

Brothers

Joey and Sarah's boys, Jonas and Lucas. They're good kids.

Eva and Family

This is Joey's sister Eva and her family. They have been living in Anchorage but have just moved back home to Unalakleet.

Emma

This is Eva and Jason's little 1-year-old, Emma. She's very quiet (all kids are quiet compared to mine, but still...) but she can wrap you around her finger pretty quickly.

Sarah and the cousins, who play really well together. The boys just can't give Emma enough love and she's a trooper and doesn't complain when the occasional toy bops her on the head.

Kris

This is Kris, who knew Jens when he lived there as a kid. It really surprised me how many people still recognized Jens, since I personally think he looks totally different than he did as a kid. Kris teaches at the high school now.

Like most small villages, there are a few prevalent family lines, and everybody seems to be related in one way or another.  Also, everybody knows everything about each other.  A person’s last name says as much about them as a resume.  And people seem to have very long memories.  Many of them even remembered Jens’ grandparents, who were teachers in the village for a few years back when Jens’ dad was kid.

(to be continued … )

Don’t Be a Moron

Filed under: Don't Make Me Cut You,Pets,Stupid People — Amy @ 1:44 pm

Ok, can we just talk about something that is slowly but surely moving past the point of “pet peeve” and into the realm of “makes me stabby?”

Irresponsible dog owners.

I have spent the past 7 years living in two states where it seems like everybody, including myself, owns a dog. And during that time it has become all too clear that there is a prevalence of a certain breed, if you will, of dog owners that borders on reckless. Folks in this category are either too stupid to realize or too inconsiderate to care that their pets are a menace.

And I for one, am tired of encountering them and fending off their beasts.

I hope you’re not one of these people, but in case you’re worried about it, let’s go though a few litmus tests:

If you think the “All Dogs Must Be On a Leash” rule at the park doesn’t apply to your dog, you are a moron.

That’s great that your dog can walk by your side without a leash on. It doesn’t mean he will continue to walk by your side once he passes MY dog – who can’t escape because he IS on a leash.  And if you’re on a bicycle, it’s going to take you entirely too long to assess the situation, turn around, get off your bike, and intervene.  Meanwhile, your dog has already swallowed half my dog’s head.

Also, I don’t care how well trained you think your enormous brute is.  If you let him roam freely around the park because he gets more exercise that way, don’t act surprised when he makes a beeline for my dog and clobbers him.  And I don’t care if you’re 80 years old, I will scream at you for letting it happen.  Especially the second time.  I go the park to exercise, not to stand still, holding my dog in my arms until you get your ass over there to call off Bruno.

If you think your dog knows where your property line ends, you are a moron.

Look, if you want a ferocious guard dog to keep your property safe, that’s your deal.  But if you think for a MINUTE that he’s going to keep his ferociousness within your unfenced boundary, you’re just kidding yourself and putting other people in danger.  I know not to run from dogs, but when I’m jogging by your house – on the OTHER side of the street – with my headphones on, I’m not going to notice that your 100-lb German shepherd is trying to chase me down until he has a hold of my ankle.

If you think your large, aggressive/protective dog has any business being off-leash, you are a moron.

Kaelin and I were taking Hastings for a walk this week.  Our driveway is long and passes a neighbor’s property.  We could see the large dog on the porch 100 feet away (200 feet? I can’t judge distance to save my life), barking his head off like he was fully prepared to rip us to bits.  “I hope he’s on a leash,” I muttered to Kaelin as we continued on our way.  Suddenly, the dog quit barking and disappeared.

Guess who was waiting for us at the end of our driveway.  Our walk was cut short as we turned around and headed back.

I have enough to worry about with keeping my dog and children safe from moose and bears.  I don’t need to be trapped in my own driveway by your stupid dog.

If you think that just because your dog is generally benign, he should roam free and unsupervised, you are a moron.

Ok, aside from the obvious issue of him getting hit by a car or attacked by another dog or wild animal…

There’s a dog on our road that is old and probably half deaf and spends most of his day sitting by the road watching the cars go by.  Nice dog, not aggressive.  But curious.  So when I passed this house with my dog, while walking the mile to the mailboxes, he came bounding toward us.

I have a shiba inu.  He’s fast, and a bit on the hyper side when he gets excited.  His quick, jerky movements are sometimes interpreted by other dogs as aggressive behavior or an invitation to body slam.  Also, he tends to distrust other dogs and is quick to snap when he feels cornered because he’s on a leash.  So even the nicest dogs can get the signals crossed and the next thing I know, I’m by myself trying to break up a row between two frustrated animals with sharp teeth.

People, please don’t be morons.  Leash and fence your dogs.  If not for others’ sake, do it to spare your dog from the pain of my pepper spray.

Cute, Aren’t They?

Filed under: Jens,Koren,Parenting,Photos — Amy @ 4:06 pm

Reading

Indulgence

Filed under: Family,Parenting,Personal,Such is Life — Amy @ 5:30 pm

I got to stay up late.

I got many hours of uninterrupted sleep without having to make multiple trips to other people’s rooms in the middle of the night.

I got to sleep in as late as I wanted (which, as it turns out, is 8:30am).

I took a leisurely shower each morning and not once did anybody come running in the room to announce MAMA MAMA, HEY I CAN SEE YOUR BUTT!

I got caught up on work (well, mostly).

I cleaned the kitchen Friday and IT’S STILL CLEAN.

I cleaned the playroom yesterday and IT’S STILL CLEAN.

And most amazingly, I cleaned the living room 2 hours ago and IT’S STILL CLEAN.

I did laundry, dishes, photo editing, updating and worked on a few personal projects.  I even vacuumed the main floor and 3 flights of stairs.  All without interruption or fits of tears because the vacuum is too loud.

I took the dog on a 2-mile walk without anybody saying MAMA I’M TIRED, CARRY ME.

I have enjoyed 48 hours of QUIET.  Well, except for my music, which has been on constantly.

Despite the productivity, it was a weekend of indulgence.  And I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

In a few hours, my house will be a wreck again.  The decibel level will approach Intolerable approximately six times per hour.  And once again my life will be subject to the demands of two little people as the onslaught of our weekly routine begins.

But tonight I won’t have to go to bed alone.  And there will be no shortage of sweet cheeks to kiss and tummies to tickle.  And my heart will do that little jumpy thing each time I hear “Mama, I missed you!”

Yes, it’s time to have my family back.

Walking on the Spit

Filed under: Family,Homer,Photos — Amy @ 4:23 pm

My mom, as usual, made fast friends with every storekeeper she met.

While we were taking these pictures, my dad and Koren had wandered down to the beach at the end of the spit.

Afterward, we made our way to the Charter Room restaurant at Land’s End (one of my favorites!)  The weather had been so nice that we decided to eat outside.  Unfortunately, the cloud cover came in and cooled the air by several degrees while we were eating, but we all had coats so we survived.

This is the entrance to the restaurant:

Party at the Cabin

Filed under: Family,Jens,Kaelin,Koren,Photos,Seldovia — Amy @ 8:47 pm

Actually, we ended up “managing” it longer than expected, as the water was too rough on Sunday to take the boat across the bay, so we missed our ferry and had to stay an extra night at the cabin.  By the time we all left, I’m sure Cyndy was quite ready to have her cabin back.

One of the highlights of the weekend was when we had everybody together for a fresh-caught seafood dinner, complete with brownies and cake for dessert.

The kids know they can always rope Uncle Larry into a story or three.

Seldovia Beach Times

Filed under: Family,Jens,Kaelin,Koren,Nature,Photos,Seldovia — Amy @ 9:37 pm

Seldovia

Filed under: Family,Kaelin,Koren,Photos,Seldovia — Amy @ 8:49 pm

When the Rainbow dropped us off in Seldovia, we made the tour of the town.

We stopped for lunch at our favorite restaurant in Seldovia, the Tide Pool.

Cool Dude

Ah, McDonald's Happy Meal toys - the throw-away toys that somehow never get THROWN AWAY.

You can’t go through Seldovia without seeing the chainsaw carvings. There’s a contest every Memorial Day Weekend and the winners are displayed around the town.

Chainsaw Carvings: Good for Hugging

Chainsaw Carvings: Good for Climbing

Chainsaw Carvings: Good for Riding

Rainbow Bird Tour

Filed under: Family,Homer,Kaelin,Koren,Nature,Photos — Amy @ 8:30 pm

It Must Be Me

Filed under: Homer,Jens,Travel — Amy @ 9:12 am

Oh, and check this out…I’m actually afraid to put this in writing for fear that it will *POOF* disappear as soon as I do, but…

THIS IS OUR THIRD DAY OF SUNSHINE IN A ROW!!!

I don’t think we’ve had 3 full days of sunshine since sometime in May – much less CONSECUTIVELY.

Sunny and 60, baby.  It’s a good day.

Apparently, Alaska was just determined to break the all-time record for the cloudiest, wettest summer on record.  The day after that happened, the sun returned.

Oddly the year I moved to Seattle, they also broke the record for the most consecutive days of rain on record.

Hmmm…

Forth of July in Seldovia

Filed under: Family,Holidays,Kaelin,Koren,Photos,Seldovia — Amy @ 9:00 pm

This is the second time I’ve gotten to spend Fourth of July in Seldovia.  The first was 10 years ago when I came up with Jens’ family for his cousin’s wedding.  I immediately decided that it’s one of the best places in the country to celebrate Independence Day.

Seldovia is a tiny town.  The full-time population is about 200 people, though that grows in the summer.  Every year, they have a parade that the townspeople and children participate in.  There are costumes, “floats,” food, vendor booths, contests and wood carvings.

I’m not sure what the group in the middle is supposed to be (the tubes they’re blowing in are hollow seaweed stalks often found on the beach), but the back three are three volcanoes in this area: Iliamna, Redoubt, and Spurr.

Junior Bikers

Seldovia Volunteer Fire Truck

George Washington Crossing the Delaware

Tribute to the Harbor Master

Kaelin’s favorite part was the candy. Every group in the parade that passed her threw a wad of candy at her feet. It was better than Halloween!

After the parade, we enjoyed a walk around the town.

I have an appreciation for the slightly irreverent, so I got a kick out of this.

We paused to admire the wood carvings:

Then the kids played around in the grass while we ate lunch (halibut spring rolls) on a park bench with a view of the harbor.

Then we headed over to “Old Seldovia,” where the main part of town was, prior to the Great Alaskan Earthquake that destroyed a lot of Alaska in 1964.  The town used to be built entirely on piers over the water, and was razed to the ground during the earthquake.  As a result, they decided to rebuild on the land, which is where the majority of town is now.  Old Seldovia is a very interesting mix of earthquake ruins and new construction, as they have rebuilt portions of it.

Old Seldovia

After our walk, we admired some more wood carvings, and then headed back down to the dock and across the bay to the cabin for some R&R.

About Me

Hi. I'm Amy. I started this website in 2005 as a place to deposit my journal and photos. It has gone through a few incarnations and masquerades as a family site, but since I'm the only one who contributes to it, it's really all about ME, ME, ME.

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