Sunday, November 23, 2008

Traditions

Hey, remember this?

Well, now there's this:



Kaelin always went for the face. Koren seems to prefer the leg.

And also...

Letter to the Manufacturer

Dear God,

I think there’s been a mistake.  See, I’ve looked EVERYWHERE and I can’t seem to locate the “Mute” button on my children.  I’m sure it must have been an oversight. 

Also, I have yet to find the “Sleep Mode” button.  Please send a technician out to install both.  And if you could throw in a remote-control version, that would be helpful too.  I would be willing to pay extra for that feature.

One more thing, I seem to have misplaced the owner’s manual - although oddly, I don’t remember getting one - and so I need some troubleshooting assistance.  See, my new KJ2008 version is awesome, but seems to have this tendency toward exiting Sleep Mode at some truly blasphemous hour in the morning.  I would appreciate it if you could send some instructions for rectifying this problem. 

Or at least send some caffeine.

Thanks,
One Tired Mama

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Koren: 5 Months

Dear Mama,

Hey look!  I turned 5 months old yesterday!  Since you completely dropped the ball on getting my newsletter out, I’m taking upon myself to get the job done.

Hey, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve TOTALLY LEARNED HOW TO YELL.  It’s so awesome because no matter what, you drop whatever you’re doing and pay attention to ME! ME! ME! whenever I start doing it (especially when Kaelin is napping).  I’ve found it less cliche and much more effective than typical “baby crying,” for any and all occasions.  Hungry?  AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!  Sleepy?  AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!  Want to sit up?  AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!  Tired of sitting up?  AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!  Just not getting enough attention?  AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!  AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!  AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! 

Who’d have thought someone my size could out-volume you, Dad and Kaelin even when you’re all talking AT THE SAME TIME.

Also, you know what?  I’ve thought long and hard about it, and I think you might be right about the whole “getting my diaper changed in the middle of the night won’t kill me” thing.

But the “no bopping Mom in the face when she’s rocking me” rule?  Yeah.  Total buzz-kill.

Please stop trying to feed me vegetables.  It just makes me cry.

You blinked recently, so I took the opportunity to learn how to sit by myself.  I’m getting really good at it and find it an especially convenient position for eating my toes.

Also, fists are yummy.

I’m sensing some resistance to my new “Pre-dawn Wake-up Plan,” and I’m not sure why.  I mean, I’M awake and happy about it, can’t you be too?  What’s so wrong with being a morning person?  ...Of course, then sometimes this happens:

In honor of my 5 month birthday, I have decided that I really really really want to crawl.  I haven’t quite gotten the hang of it, but I’m working on it.  I can push myself up onto my hands and knees for a brief second, and can wiggle enough to migrate across about 3 feet of floorspace if I’m really motivated.  I’ve tried grabbing onto the carpet and pulling myself across the floor a few times, but that doesn’t seem to be working too well.

Ok, don’t tell anyone else, but I really love it when you kiss me all over my cheeks.  It makes me really smiley and giggly.

I’ve rethought the issue with the swaddling at night and have decided that sleeping independently is way overrated.  So please get up in the middle of the night and swaddle me up every single night.  In return, I’ll let you go back to sleep.

I’m sure this is just coincidence, but it’s very inconvenient that your hair is always SLIGHTLY out of reach.  You know how much I love to grab a fistful of it, so could you please lean just a little closer?

I love that game where you’re changing my diaper and I grab onto your arm and pinch it with my tiny, yet ridiculously strong fingers.  That little yelping sound you make is hilarious, let’s do that some more.

Well, things to grab, toes to chew.  I’m outta here!

Love,
Muffin Boy

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