Sunday, December 07, 2008

Dear Guy in the ACDC Shirt,

I do not go to the gym to make friends.  Ergo, I have very little (read: NO) appreciation for getting accosted in the gym by abnormally chatty strangers.

As important as these things are to you, I really don’t care that you can lift the entire set of weights at once.  I’m not particularly interested in why your shoulder sometimes hurts (although maybe it’s because you’re trying to lift an insane amount of weights).

I don’t care that you’re intending to join the military as soon as you pass your entrance exam (which, apparently, you’ve attempted before). 

I know what physics is, but I have no interest in hearing about the complexities of Einstein’s theories and I’m pretty much unconcerned about how excellent your mathematical skills are and what a great sniper you would make because you can do the math to figure out where the bullet would go.

I’m sorry that you don’t approve of the gym’s playlist.  I can’t commiserate with you on the lack of ACDC songs, however, because I have this iPod specifically for the purpose of being able to listen to what I WANT to hear while working out.  Which, oddly, I cannot do when you insist on standing in front of my machine and talking to me.

Really, I just want to do my workout and go home.  Please comply.  Trust me, we get along much better when we can ignore each other.

Lovingly,
The Girl Who is Trying to Finish Her Audio Book

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Not Again

Dear Customer Service Girl at the Home Warranty Company,

When you tell me someone will be calling me back today regarding having my air conditioner looked at AGAIN, and I SPECIFICALLY request that you add my cell phone number to the account because I don’t want to miss the call when I‘m not home later today, it is a safe assumption that I want you to USE THE NUMBER TO CONTACT ME.

Getting a call from the AC Man to say that he’s sitting in front of my house and I’m not home, and that the Home Warranty Company should have notified me that he was on his way DOES NOT put me in a good mood.  Nor does coming home to find that you, the same person I talked to this morning, have left a message on my home phone and no message on my cell phone. 

It’s hard enough to get these guys to come out in a reasonable time frame, much less on the weekend (and also, WHY does the AC ALWAYS break on FRIDAY?).

If I sound a bit grumpy about this, it might be because this is the FIFTH TIME in the last THREE MONTHS you have had to send someone out here to fix the AC.  Doesn’t that sound a LITTLE ridiculous to you?  That by itself should qualify us for Emergency Service Status instead of Whenever We Get Around To It Status.  But no, I have to pull the “I have an infant” card to get you off your butts.

I am less than pleased with the results of your AC company’s service calls.  If the new circuit board the technician is ordering on Monday doesn’t fix the problem permanently, I will be forced to start indiscriminately beating people with my personal fan. 

Sincerely,
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Color Me Flabbergasted

Today I left Kaelin with my mom and Koren with Jens, and went on an outing to get my hair done.  Since I only get my hair cut about twice a year, and since I always color/highlight it myself, the chance to get out by myself to have it professionally done was a special treat.  A special treat that I shall not be repeating, like, EVER AGAIN.

I had a gift certificate to the salon and decided to get some highlights done as well.  They turned out ok, though I’m a little disappointed because I was under the impression that the point of highlights was so you could SEE THEM.  Apparently the stylist thought I was going for the subtle “I Paid Big Bucks for Nothing” look.  In fact, they’re so scarce that it almost looks like strands of gray hair rather than actual highlights. 

Because that’s what I needed for a visual pick-me-up after having a baby - GRAY HAIR.

The stylist that cut my hair was someone I’ve never met before.  I really like my usual stylist but she moved to another salon, a salon I didn’t have a gift certificate for, and I was forced to make my appointment with the dreaded “whoever is available.”  He was fast, which was nice, and the haircut is alright.  But sort of mediocre.

And then I went to check out and the receptionist says “That will be $270, please.”

I stared at her, thinking surely I had misheard her.  $270 for highlights and a haircut?  Is that a joke? 

No.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t.  I handed her my gift certificate hoping that somehow by the grace of God a mathematical miracle would occur.  But no, I still owed a whopping balance.  I could feel the blood drain from my face as I handed her my card, the stabbing wound as she swiped it and I could see the machine sucking the life out of my bank account.

It’s really a good thing that we have such sweet friends bringing meals to us recently, because I think my hair just ate up our food budget for the rest of the month.  Though I suppose that will make the dieting a little easier.

But one thing’s for sure.  From now on my hair color is coming out of the box from Walgreen’s.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Multiple Personalities

Yay, done with crappy project from yesterday! And more thankful than ever that I didn’t go into accounting.

Now for the daily work vent session…Does anyone besides me notice that a startling number of customer service representatives seem to have the IQ of a cow and the personality of a rotten grapefruit?

As a minor example, I attempted to (painlessly) get the address of a motel where we’re holding a company meeting next week…

WOMAN: aslkdjcoicjewej kdmnclkj, how may I help you? ME: Is this the Pine Valley Motel? WOMAN: Yeah. ME: Ok, can I get the address of the motel please? WOMAN: Elevenuh827highwaaay226south ME: Was that 11827 Highway 226 South? WOMAN: Uh-huh. ME: Ok, thank you. WOMAN: Who wants to know? (pause) ME: Um…I…do… WOMAN: Yeah, but why? (pause) ME: ...So that I can get there… WOMAN: (silence) ME: Our company is having a meeting there…and I need to be able to tell people where it is. WOMAN: Ok. ME: Um..bye now… Did she think I was going to come by and steal the motel? It can’t be unusual for people to call the front desk and want the address of the building they plan to spend the night at. I also wonder what it was about her interview that made the owner of the motel say “this woman would be a great customer service representative.” She wasn’t exactly Miss Personality. Maybe she was just a good interviewer…multiple personalities or something.