Random Little Things That Bug Me

Filed under: Parenting,Peaves — Amy @ 8:17 pm

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Is anyone else bothered by the opening sequence of Goldilocks and the Three Bears?  I mean, even if you can get past the fact that you have 3 bears living in a cottage and eating porridge, and that Goldilocks is obviously the product of delinquent parents if she a) is allowed to go wandering through the woods by herself, and b) doesn’t have enough home training to know that you don’t just open the door and go wandering into some stranger’s house.

Even if you take all that at face value, there’s still the porridge issue, and I find myself unable to get past the porridge issue.

If you make hot porridge and pour it at the same time into 3 different sized bowls, the porridge will cool in direct proportion to the volume of the bowl.  In other words, IT IS THERMODYNAMICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR MAMA BEAR’S MEDIUM SIZED PORRIDGE TO COOL FASTER THAN BABY BEAR’S “WEE” PORRIDGE.

The only rational explanation for this is that even though Mama Bear’s bowl was bigger than Baby Bear’s bowl, Mama Bear is anorexic and poured herself the least amount of porridge because she’s afraid of getting fat.

The underlying themes of this story just get better and better.

Because you have to assume that there’s some reason that Mama and Papa bear don’t share a bed.  And don’t say it’s because Papa Bear snores.  They all sleep in the same room, so separate beds wouldn’t really make a difference there. 

Maybe Goldilocks isn’t the first blonde bombshell to sneak into the cottage and “rearrange” Papa Bear’s bed sheets.  Just saying.

And this is a story we tell our kids?

One Response so far.

  1. Noelle says:

    I love this post!

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Hi. I'm Amy. I started this website in 2005 as a place to deposit my journal and photos. It has gone through a few incarnations and masquerades as a family site, but since I'm the only one who contributes to it, it's really all about ME, ME, ME.

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