Archive for the ‘Customer Service Strikes Again’ Category

Customer Service Strikes Again

Yay, done with crappy project from yesterday! And more thankful than ever that I didn’t go into accounting.

Now for the daily work vent session…Does anyone besides me notice that a startling number of customer service representatives seem to have the IQ of a cow and the personality of a rotten grapefruit?

As a minor example, I attempted to (painlessly) get the address of a motel where we’re holding a company meeting next week…

WOMAN: aslkdjcoicjewej kdmnclkj, how may I help you?
ME: Is this the Pine Valley Motel?
WOMAN: Yeah.
ME: Ok, can I get the address of the motel please?
WOMAN: Elevenuh827highwaaay226south
ME: Was that 11827 Highway 226 South?
WOMAN: Uh-huh.
ME: Ok, thank you.
WOMAN: Who wants to know?
(pause)
ME: Um…I…do…
WOMAN: Yeah, but why?
(pause)
ME: …So that I can get there…
WOMAN: (silence)
ME: Our company is having a meeting there…and I need to be able to tell people where it is.
WOMAN: Ok.
ME: Um..bye now…

Did she think I was going to come by and steal the motel? It can’t be unusual for people to call the front desk and want the address of the building they plan to spend the night at.

I also wonder what it was about her interview that made the owner of the motel say “this woman would be a great customer service representative.” She wasn’t exactly Miss Personality. Maybe she was just a good interviewer…multiple personalities or something.

Friggin US Mail

I have found a new pet peeve. Computers that try to be human. Auto-response systems that try to act like a real person. The following conversation occurred when I tried to talk to a real person about an international shipment that was lost. Let’s just say I lost more than my shipment…

USPS: Thank you for calling the US Postal Service. To continue in English, say or press 1. To continue in Spanish…
ME: (pressing 1)
USPS: Ok, “Track & Confirm.” Does the label number begin with a letter?
ME: Wait, I didn’t want “Track & Confirm.” Go back. (pressing buttons to return to main menu)
USPS: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand you. Does the label number begin with a letter?
ME: Customer Service, please.
USPS: I’m sorry, your response could not be understood.
ME: I need to talk to a live person.
USPS: I’m sorry, I still didn’t understand you.
ME: (Still pressing buttons to return to main menu.)
USPS: I’m sorry, I’m having difficulty – That’s not a valid – I’m sorry – Your response – I’m still having – Ok, let’s try a different question. Does the label number begin with a letter?
ME: (hanging up and dialing again.)
USPS: Thank you for calling the US postal service. To continue in English say or press 1.
ME: (pressing 1)
USPS: To check the delivery status, please say “Track & Confirm.” Otherwise please say “Schedule a Pickup,” “Order Supplies,” or “Other.”
ME: Other.
USPS: Did you say “Track & Confirm?”
ME: No.
USPS: Ok, “Track & Confirm.” Does the label number begin with a letter?
ME: (Click. Dialing again.)
USPS: Thank you for calling the US postal service. To continue in English say or press 1.
ME: (pressing 1)
USPS: To check the delivery status, please say “Track & Confirm.” Otherwise please say “Schedule a Pickup,” “Order Supplies,” or “Other.”
ME: Other.
USPS: Did you say “Track & Confirm?”
ME: No.
USPS: To check the delivery status, please say “Track & Confirm.” Otherwise please say “Schedule a Pickup,” “Order Supplies,” or “Other.”
ME: Other.
USPS: You said “Other Information,” is that correct?
ME: Close enough.
USPS: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand your response. Was that a yes or a no?
ME: Yes.
USPS: Does your question concern a domestic or international shipment?
ME: International.
USPS: Ok, “Track & Confirm.” Does the label number begin with a letter?
ME: NOOOOO!
USPS: Ok please say each digit your label number slowly and carefully.
ME: (Sigh. Repeating label number.)
USPS: I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand your response. Let’s try a different question. Was the package sent to an address within the continental United States?
ME: No.
USPS: Was the package sent to Guam, Puerto Rico or an APO box?
ME: No.
USPS: Ok. Please say each digit of your label number slowly and carefully. Or if your label begins with a letter say “Go Back” to return to the previous menu.
ME: Go Back.
USPS: Ok, “Track & Confirm.”

Somehow – and I can’t for the life of me recall how – I finally got in touch with a real live person.

USPS: Thank you for calling the US Postal Service, this is *****, how may I help you?
ME: I need to file a claim on a package sent to Mexico two months ago that was never delivered. USPS: Ok, what’s the tracking number?
ME: There are three tracking numbers on my receipt, which one do you want?
USPS: Is there one that starts with two letters?
ME: There are two. One starts with EC and one starts with CP.
USPS: The one that starts with CP.
ME: (relaying the number)
USPS: Ok, I’m showing that the investigation on this package was only started a month ago and Mexico has 60 days to respond, so you have to wait another month to file a claim.
ME: But the last time I called, the person told me I could file a claim on today’s date.
USPS: I’m sorry, you have to wait 60 days.
ME: So there’s absolutely nothing I can do right now to find out what happened to this package or get my money back.
USPS: You can track the package through our automated tracking system. Let me put you through to “Track & Confirm.”
ME: (Click.)

The above conversation resulted in an amendment to our international shipping policy. We no longer ship internationally.

About Me

Hi. I'm Amy. I started this website in 2005 as a place to deposit my journal and photos. It has gone through a few incarnations and masquerades as a family site, but since I'm the only one who contributes to it, it's really all about ME, ME, ME.

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