Archive for the ‘My Insides Hate Me’ Category

You’re SICK

Tonight I had some bad sushi. It tasted good. But it didn’t agree with my insides and for a while I wasn’t sure whether it was the sushi, or my insides, that were about to exit my body in a rather unfriendly fashion.

Consequently, I spent a good portion of the evening alternating between the couch and the toilet.

J is gone on a business trip tonight so it was just me and Kaelin for the evening. It is surprisingly difficult to spend an evening sick on the pot with a curious and concerned toddler investigating, questioning, and playing doctor.

“Are you ok Mama?”

(between winces, and with my head in my hands) “Not really. Mama’s a little sick right now.”

“You’re SICK. Are you ok Mama?”

“I will be ok soon. Mama just needs to go potty. Can you go watch TV for a few minutes?”

“Do you have an owie? Does your eyes hurt? Do you have an owie on your arm?”

“Mama’s tummy hurts.”

“Mama has an owie on her tummy. Does it need a kiss?”

“No thank you. But thanks for offering.”

(Removing a strip of toilet paper to wrap around an old scratch on Mama’s arm) “Mama has an owie RIGHT THERE. Put this on it because it makes it feel all better for you.”

“Thank you sweetie.”

(Grabbing my arm at attempting to pull me off the toilet) “Puuuuuuuuuulllllll! Puuuuuuullllll! Go out there. Go into the living room, Mama.”

“I can’t right now, baby. Go ahead and I’ll come in a few minutes.”

“I need some toilet paper!

“No you don’t. Don’t take any more toilet paper. Leave it alone.”

“I love you Mama! Hold you?”

“I love you too, but I can’t hold you right now. I’m going potty.”

(Attempting embrace) “HUUUUUG!”

She then found a small flashlight and proceeded to spotlight and name Every. Single. Item. in the bathroom.

“Shine the light and then you can see it. This is a scarecrow! How about the scarecrow’s basket? How about the toilet paper? How about the door! How about the shoe! How about Mama’s knee? How about Mama’s other knee! How about Mama’s cheek! How about Mama’s arm! How about Mama’s tummy! How about Mama’s boob!”

“Kaelin, can you please go watch TV for a few minutes.”

“Are you ok, Mama? Mama has an owie.” (Runs down the hall) “Your SICK!”

The Hard Way

Filed under: Food,My Insides Hate Me — Amy @ 3:23 pm

Lesson #41.

Today I had chicken fried rice for lunch. I like ordering chicken fried rice because they always give you enough for two meals and it keeps pretty well for a few days.

Today I ate the entire dish of chicken fried rice.

Bad idea. Bad bad idea.

Eww, Ow, and Holy Crap

Filed under: Health...or Lack Thereof,My Insides Hate Me,Pregnancy — Amy @ 12:46 pm

This past week has been a hard one, physically.

A week ago, I made the mistake of eating a grilled cheese sandwich with a glass of chocolate milk. Am I pregnant or what?

Anyway, the “mistake” part comes from the fact that I have certain food “sensitivities” which make my intestines react to the combination of certain foods, particularly those containing a lot of dairy products. At the time, it didn’t occur to me at all until I found myself in the bathroom vomiting like I haven’t done since I was five, and then enduring one of the most painful sessions of diarrhea I’ve ever known. Having endured many cases of grumpy intestines, that’s saying a lot. This is the first time it’s actually made me throw up.

The next day, I took a spill in the Chili’s parking lot while trying to run shoeless to a car in a torrential downpour. Again, my fault. But it sounded like a good idea at the time. It sounded like less of a good idea when I found myself on the ground in a river of water with a banged-up ankle. The jury is still out on how I managed to scrape up the top of my ankle (and only the top of my ankle) while falling on my butt.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor with abdominal pressure, cramping, and lower back pain. After checking me for signs of preterm labor, the doctor determined that I have a bladder infection and gave me a prescription for antibiotics.

While filling the prescription, I decided – since infection in general can be bad for babies – that it couldn’t hurt to pick up some Neosporin and band-aids for the ankle wound I had received in the parking lot several days before.

It hurt.

The wound, which I had been washing daily with antibacterial soap, had previously been only slightly swollen around the red area, but had scabbed over and been little more than an inconvenience on the road to recovery. The only real soreness came from the skin pulling on the new scab when I flexed my ankle.

Within four hours of taking my antibiotics and applying the Neosporin, my foot had swelled to the size of a water buffalo and was too painful to walk on. What had been a typical brown scab became yellow and pus-looking, and the redness had spread to a much larger area.

My bladder infection also picked this time to swing into a full-blown, too-painful-to-stand-up-straight, can’t-find-a-position-that-doesn’t-hurt problem.

Today, I am doing the John Merrick hobble around the house trying to find a position to sit or lay in that doesn’t instill misery. Being seven months pregnant, I only have about 3 positions to choose from, and have found each to be more uncomfortable than the other two.

Having never had a bladder infection before, I’m not sure what they’re normally like. But I can tell you that having one with a 3-lb baby sitting on top of it is comparable to having a very tempermental porcupine residing in my abdomen.

Here’s hoping the antibiotics kick in, like, yesterday. And it will be a very long time before I drink another glass of cranberry juice.

About Me

Hi. I'm Amy. I started this website in 2005 as a place to deposit my journal and photos. It has gone through a few incarnations and masquerades as a family site, but since I'm the only one who contributes to it, it's really all about ME, ME, ME.

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