Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

Thinking

Filed under: Feeling,Parenting,Stupid People,Such is Life,Thinking,Work — Amy @ 8:18 pm

This happens to me every time it gets slow at work. I start thinking if I didn’t really have to work to maintain our same lifestyle, would I still do it?

Especially when I pass women who are obviously SAHMs, walking and jogging with their kids in the mornings. Women who have time to put the kids in the car and go stroll around the mall, just because. Women who don’t have to worry about finding a nanny, keeping a nanny, and what to do on days the nanny can’t come.

I used to think I would have no idea what to do all day if I were to stay home. Now I have a clue:

I would go for walks with Kaelin, get outside and get some exercise.
I would scrapbook during her naps.
I would take her on field trips and excursions to get out of the house.
I would co-op with other mommies I know who I don’t get to see as often as I would like.
I would still take one day a week for myself to do things I couldn’t do with baby in tow.

I especially start thinking about it when I get to work and spend the day dealing with people who are DENSER THAN A DOOR STOP.

People who, after being told 6 times that they are no longer eligible for refunds, still badger me with reminders to issue a pickup of goods.

People who don’t understand BASIC INTERNET (How do I install a website on my computer) and think that they can use it to build a business. And that when they have questions about this website (which has nothing to do with my company or job function) that they can come to me with these questions just because I know the answers. Note to self to STOP ANSWERING these questions…I’m probably not helping myself out.

People who think I am the IRS and that they can come to me with tax questions about this, that and the other.

People who take advantage of the fact that I have guilt about cutting someone off mid-conversation, and choose to tell me their entire life’s story, or brag about how they know Donald Trump, the Prince of Wales, and the President of I Don’t Give a Crap, Inc.

When it’s crazy-busy around here, I love my job and am convinced that even if I won the lottery, I would still work for the fun of it. But I must confess during times like these, there are moments when I’m tempted to leave it all behind.

Missed Vs. Not Missed

Filed under: Breast Feeding,Feeling,Makes Me Grumpy,Parenting,Work — Amy @ 8:09 pm
Things I will Miss About Breastfeeding Things I will NOT Miss About Breastfeeding
Virtually odor-free diapers Having to feed her every 3 hours, 24 hours a day
The way she got so happy to see me around mealtime The way she thought it was meal time every time I picked her up
No periods Having to put round maxi pads in my bra
Being able to eat whatever I want without counting calories NOT being able to eat what I want for fear it would give the baby gas
Being a C-cup Ugly nursing bras, leakage, and having to sleep in a bra
Being a C-cup Having to wash a breast pump 6 times a day
Being a C-cup Having to close my door at work and STILL have 2 different bosses walk in on me while I’m using said breast pump

A New Chapter

My doctor wrote me a prescription for regular birth control today, since Kaelin is on formula now.

Simultaneously a blessing and a curse. A blessing because she is no longer rejecting straight formula, so we never have to worry about not having enough milk to feed her. A curse because the diapers have taken on a new…personality.

And also because…it makes me feel inadequate.

Before I had Kaelin, I wasn’t convinced that I was ever going to be that “into” nursing. The whole idea of the act just kinda weirded me out.

Once she came, I grew to treasure those little times we had because it was just us. We had inlaws staying with us for the first three weeks of Kaelin’s life, inlaws that don’t get to see her very often and therefore confiscated her every available waking moment, and many of her sleeping moments. Now when they visit, I don’t mind that (and sometimes it’s a welcome break) because she’s my child and I’ve had plenty of opportunity to bond with her as such. But in the beginning I felt crowded out, as though their need to spend time with her superceded mine. As though I was just an accessory, and my only real place in her life was meal time.

Perhaps that was just my post-pregnancy hormonal delusion, but the fact remained: I cherished those little moments nursing her, watching her beautiful face as she looked up into my eyes. Adoring the way her lips pouted and her cheeks got extra-puffy when she was full and drifted off into a milk-drunk daze. Those were our moments and we shared a special connection.

I had fully intended to continue nursing until the appropriate time to quit, but the food poisoning incident a few weeks ago cut short my plans. My milk production all but stopped and hasn’t returned since. I’ve tried consuming more calories, nursing more often, drinking more water – it appears to be a lost cause.

As such, we were forced to begin bottle-feeding, which has changed things considerably. Kaelin isn’t dependent upon me for every meal…or for any meal. Anyone can feed her, which is great for weekends like this last one, where we left her with the grandparents and had a night away from the bottles and diapers.

And yet, when I talk to and hear about women who are still nursing their 8 or 12 or 17-month olds, I feel a paing of regret. Breast milk is best – a well-known fact – and of course I want the best for my child. There’s always the question of whether or not I could have tried harder to continue breastfeeding, of whether I gave up too soon. Of what kind of difference it will actually make in her life going less than 4 months instead of a year or two. I can impose guilt on myself for this or that or the other.

But most of all, I just miss the connection. Knowing that she had a need that only I could fill. Seeing the pure joy in her eyes because nursing always made her so happy. It’s just not the same with a bottle.

And thus, we enter a new chapter in Kaelin’s life. A chapter of more independence, growth and development. I keep promising myself to look forward and not backward, because every day bring something so new and exciting.

But there will always be a special place in my heart for those tender moments that exist now only in memory.

Tripple My Butt

Filed under: Makes Me Grumpy,Parenting,Teh Internets — Amy @ 9:34 pm

I can’t believe it. I think she’s going to take another nap. She’s doing her funny-talk that she only does when she’s really sleepy and trying to keep herself awake. Usually doesn’t work.

Just lost another darts game to Cheating Computer. I was ahead by over 100 points. Then, as usual, “Tripple 20!” “Tripple 20!” “Tripple whatever-exact-number-the-computer-needed-to-win!!!” “Winner!!!”

Sometimes I hate computers.

The Formula Bath

Filed under: Milestones,Parenting,Sleep Deprivation — Amy @ 9:32 pm

Kaelin and I have reached an undestanding when it comes to getting her to sleep a little better through the night.
Our understanding involves the following common-sense rules of conduct during night:

1. We don’t conduct diaper changes
2. We don’t change outfits
3. We don’t turn on the light to see
4. We don’t spill milk everywhere

Last night was a very unfortunate night on all accounts. I was feeding Kaelin her bottle at 3AM when I felt this drip drip running down my elbow, leg, and onto the bed. Further investigation revealed that the bottle I was feeding her had gone beyond leaking to flowing formula all over her…which was now dripping on me. Her jammies were soaked. Soaked with now-cold, smelly baby formula. I might as well just have poured the entire contents of the bottle on her chest and been done with it.

In order to remedy the situation, we had to break every single nighttime rule, which resulted in a very awake baby at 3:30AM. She got a mini-bath with baby wipes, and then a complete bath this morning to get the dried formula out of her hair.

I was able to catch up on my sleep this morning when J took over Baby Duty, but apparently she waited until now to catch up on hers. She is now napping, and has been napping for the last 3 hours. Lovely 🙂

In other news, we’re starting the “solid foods stage,” which would be more aptly named the “toxic death-bomb diapers stage.” She loves pears, can’t get enough of them. Bananas, however, are more useful for wearing than for eating.

Nanny 411

Filed under: Childcare,Parenting — Amy @ 9:23 pm

That title doesn’t really make any sense.

Anyway, we have SOLVED the NANNY SITUATION. We met last night with a married couple who happen to be friends of ours, and she’s going to nanny Kaelin in a few weeks when M can’t anymore. She’s willing to come to our house and they have a 17 month old son, so the two kids can play together and get some social interaction.

DID I MENTION THIS WAS A GOOD DAY???

Addendum…Actually, I guess I should say, we have solved the Nanny situation for the next 8 months. Our new nanny recently discovered she and her husband are expecting again. A lot can change over 8 months, so I’m not really worried. I think we’ll deal with that when we get there.

Well Blow Me Down Backward

Filed under: Makes Me Happy,Milestones,Parenting,Sleep Deprivation — Amy @ 9:20 pm

It appears that we have finally won the favor of the gods of rest and relaxation…

BUTTON SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT for the FIRST TIME last night!!!

She went to bed at 8:30PM and, despite the fact that the HAIL STORM and subsequent CAR ALARMS did everything in their power to disturb her slumber, she did not wake up until 5:30AM. Then she ate and went back down for another 2 hours.

I have nothing further to say about this except Holy. Freakin’. Cow. I. Love. Today.

Resenting

Filed under: Makes Me Grumpy,Parenting,Parents,Weather — Amy @ 9:09 pm

The fact that winter is over and it never got here to begin with. And the fact that, after being accused by my mother of letting my child run around without enough clothing to keep her warm, I went out and bought lots of baby sweaters and warm outfits that are totally adorable, but she’ll never get to wear.
Because yesterday was the first of March and it was 93 °    here. Fortunately, it’s supposed to be back down in the 70’s for a while. But still.

Enjoying

Filed under: Parenting — Amy @ 9:06 pm

Waking up in the morning to hear my daughter laying in her crib talking to herself in happy baby-nonsense.

Sleeping in Seattle…I Mean Dallas.

Filed under: Milestones,Parenting,Sleep Deprivation — Amy @ 9:02 pm

Right, we don’t live in Seattle anymore.

Anyway, between 7:30 last night and 6:30 this morning, Kaelin only woke up ONCE.

The sun, it is a-shinin’ and the birds they are a-singin’…

On a less enthusiastic note, I had lunch with my mom the other day and she brought excerpts from my baby book. Evidently I was sleeping through the night at 4 weeks. FOUR WEEKS.

Kaelin is FOUR MONTHS and only getting up once is a treat. Apparently she has inherrited her fathers (not) sleeping genes. Sigh.

How to Know if You’re Ready for Parenting

Filed under: Parenting,Sleep Deprivation — Amy @ 8:57 pm

Dress Test:
Obtain one live, large and very unhappy octopus. Stuff said octopus into a small net bag, making sure all the arms stay inside.

Night Test:
Fill a small cloth bag with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00pm, begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00am. Set alarm for 5:00am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

New Developments

Filed under: Childcare,Parenting — Amy @ 8:48 pm

Since she was born, Kaelin has been sleeping in our room each night, to ease the mid-night feedings. She has developed her own bedtime routine and has been unable recently to go down for the night outside her normal routine, which includes me holding/rocking her, turning on the music, and placing her in her Pack ‘n’ Play in our room. She’ll take a nap anywhere but she will not go to sleep for the night anywhere but in her Pack ‘n’ Play.

I just put her down for the night in her crib in the nursery and she actually went to sleep. Score.

On the not-so-cool side, the new nanny quit today. Once again, we’re looking for a daytime solution for our daughter so I don’t have to quit my job to be a SAHM. Fabulous.

To her credit, it wasn’t really her fault. She’s on maternity leave and recently found out while resigning from her teaching job that she’s under contract with her school district and if she quits, the State of Texas will revoke her license and she’ll never be able to teach in that district again. Surprise.

It just plain sucks for everybody.

About Me

Hi. I'm Amy. I started this website in 2005 as a place to deposit my journal and photos. It has gone through a few incarnations and masquerades as a family site, but since I'm the only one who contributes to it, it's really all about ME, ME, ME.

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