Archive for the ‘Feeling’ Category

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Filed under: Health...or Lack Thereof,Makes Me Grumpy — Amy @ 10:15 am

Good: Doing a bunch of sit-ups

Bad: Contracting some kind of head-congesty coughing syndrome

Ugly: Having sore stomach muscles from too many sit-ups so that each time I descend into another coughing fit, it feels like someone is kicking me in the gut.

Make it stop…

Don’t Be a Moron

Filed under: Don't Make Me Cut You,Pets,Stupid People — Amy @ 1:44 pm

Ok, can we just talk about something that is slowly but surely moving past the point of “pet peeve” and into the realm of “makes me stabby?”

Irresponsible dog owners.

I have spent the past 7 years living in two states where it seems like everybody, including myself, owns a dog. And during that time it has become all too clear that there is a prevalence of a certain breed, if you will, of dog owners that borders on reckless. Folks in this category are either too stupid to realize or too inconsiderate to care that their pets are a menace.

And I for one, am tired of encountering them and fending off their beasts.

I hope you’re not one of these people, but in case you’re worried about it, let’s go though a few litmus tests:

If you think the “All Dogs Must Be On a Leash” rule at the park doesn’t apply to your dog, you are a moron.

That’s great that your dog can walk by your side without a leash on. It doesn’t mean he will continue to walk by your side once he passes MY dog – who can’t escape because he IS on a leash.  And if you’re on a bicycle, it’s going to take you entirely too long to assess the situation, turn around, get off your bike, and intervene.  Meanwhile, your dog has already swallowed half my dog’s head.

Also, I don’t care how well trained you think your enormous brute is.  If you let him roam freely around the park because he gets more exercise that way, don’t act surprised when he makes a beeline for my dog and clobbers him.  And I don’t care if you’re 80 years old, I will scream at you for letting it happen.  Especially the second time.  I go the park to exercise, not to stand still, holding my dog in my arms until you get your ass over there to call off Bruno.

If you think your dog knows where your property line ends, you are a moron.

Look, if you want a ferocious guard dog to keep your property safe, that’s your deal.  But if you think for a MINUTE that he’s going to keep his ferociousness within your unfenced boundary, you’re just kidding yourself and putting other people in danger.  I know not to run from dogs, but when I’m jogging by your house – on the OTHER side of the street – with my headphones on, I’m not going to notice that your 100-lb German shepherd is trying to chase me down until he has a hold of my ankle.

If you think your large, aggressive/protective dog has any business being off-leash, you are a moron.

Kaelin and I were taking Hastings for a walk this week.  Our driveway is long and passes a neighbor’s property.  We could see the large dog on the porch 100 feet away (200 feet? I can’t judge distance to save my life), barking his head off like he was fully prepared to rip us to bits.  “I hope he’s on a leash,” I muttered to Kaelin as we continued on our way.  Suddenly, the dog quit barking and disappeared.

Guess who was waiting for us at the end of our driveway.  Our walk was cut short as we turned around and headed back.

I have enough to worry about with keeping my dog and children safe from moose and bears.  I don’t need to be trapped in my own driveway by your stupid dog.

If you think that just because your dog is generally benign, he should roam free and unsupervised, you are a moron.

Ok, aside from the obvious issue of him getting hit by a car or attacked by another dog or wild animal…

There’s a dog on our road that is old and probably half deaf and spends most of his day sitting by the road watching the cars go by.  Nice dog, not aggressive.  But curious.  So when I passed this house with my dog, while walking the mile to the mailboxes, he came bounding toward us.

I have a shiba inu.  He’s fast, and a bit on the hyper side when he gets excited.  His quick, jerky movements are sometimes interpreted by other dogs as aggressive behavior or an invitation to body slam.  Also, he tends to distrust other dogs and is quick to snap when he feels cornered because he’s on a leash.  So even the nicest dogs can get the signals crossed and the next thing I know, I’m by myself trying to break up a row between two frustrated animals with sharp teeth.

People, please don’t be morons.  Leash and fence your dogs.  If not for others’ sake, do it to spare your dog from the pain of my pepper spray.

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I find that my capacity for sympathy is inversely proportionate to the amount of energy my son drains from me throughout the day.

Today was a beating.

He’s teething and he’s got to be one of the worst teethers I’ve ever met.  He cried ALL. DAY.  He wanted to be held the entire day so that he could wail without ceasing DIRECTLY INTO MY EAR CANAL.  Nothing I did pacified him for more than 5 minutes.  He’s hungry, but apparently it hurts to eat because every time I give him something he refuses it and starts crying again.  I’ve given up on Baby Orajel because he’s not a fan of having his mouth numbed and it just makes him cry more.  I am officially WORN DOWN.

Consequently, I’m taking him to Mother’s Day Out tomorrow and letting his teachers deal with him until they call me to come pick him up because I NEED A BREAK, even if it’s only for an hour.

Jens appears to have developed an infection in his broken hand.  This was not a good evening for him to be running around filling prescriptions for antibiotics when the single thing that got me through the day was knowing that he could take Koren off my hands when he got off work.  So while I had enough self restraint and sense not to bitch about it, the level of fussing and pampering he received from me over his pain and injury was pretty low.

Koren has already woken up several times.  I can tell it’s going to be a tough night.  For him.  I’m turning off the baby monitor tonight.

Dear Guy in the ACDC Shirt,

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Peaves — Amy @ 7:35 pm

I do not go to the gym to make friends.  Ergo, I have very little (read: NO) appreciation for getting accosted in the gym by abnormally chatty strangers.

As important as these things are to you, I really don’t care that you can lift the entire set of weights at once.  I’m not particularly interested in why your shoulder sometimes hurts (although maybe it’s because you’re trying to lift an insane amount of weights).

I don’t care that you’re intending to join the military as soon as you pass your entrance exam (which, apparently, you’ve attempted before). 

I know what physics is, but I have no interest in hearing about the complexities of Einstein’s theories and I’m pretty much unconcerned about how excellent your mathematical skills are and what a great sniper you would make because you can do the math to figure out where the bullet would go.

I’m sorry that you don’t approve of the gym’s playlist.  I can’t commiserate with you on the lack of ACDC songs, however, because I have this iPod specifically for the purpose of being able to listen to what I WANT to hear while working out.  Which, oddly, I cannot do when you insist on standing in front of my machine and talking to me.

Really, I just want to do my workout and go home.  Please comply.  Trust me, we get along much better when we can ignore each other.

The Girl Who is Trying to Finish Her Audio Book

Not Again

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Such is Life — Amy @ 9:50 am

Dear Customer Service Girl at the Home Warranty Company,

When you tell me someone will be calling me back today regarding having my air conditioner looked at AGAIN, and I SPECIFICALLY request that you add my cell phone number to the account because I don’t want to miss the call when I‘m not home later today, it is a safe assumption that I want you to USE THE NUMBER TO CONTACT ME.

Getting a call from the AC Man to say that he’s sitting in front of my house and I’m not home, and that the Home Warranty Company should have notified me that he was on his way DOES NOT put me in a good mood.  Nor does coming home to find that you, the same person I talked to this morning, have left a message on my home phone and no message on my cell phone. 

It’s hard enough to get these guys to come out in a reasonable time frame, much less on the weekend (and also, WHY does the AC ALWAYS break on FRIDAY?).

If I sound a bit grumpy about this, it might be because this is the FIFTH TIME in the last THREE MONTHS you have had to send someone out here to fix the AC.  Doesn’t that sound a LITTLE ridiculous to you?  That by itself should qualify us for Emergency Service Status instead of Whenever We Get Around To It Status.  But no, I have to pull the “I have an infant” card to get you off your butts.

I am less than pleased with the results of your AC company’s service calls.  If the new circuit board the technician is ordering on Monday doesn’t fix the problem permanently, I will be forced to start indiscriminately beating people with my personal fan. 


Color Me Flabbergasted

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Such is Life — Amy @ 8:12 pm

Today I left Kaelin with my mom and Koren with Jens, and went on an outing to get my hair done.  Since I only get my hair cut about twice a year, and since I always color/highlight it myself, the chance to get out by myself to have it professionally done was a special treat.  A special treat that I shall not be repeating, like, EVER AGAIN.

I had a gift certificate to the salon and decided to get some highlights done as well.  They turned out ok, though I’m a little disappointed because I was under the impression that the point of highlights was so you could SEE THEM.  Apparently the stylist thought I was going for the subtle “I Paid Big Bucks for Nothing” look.  In fact, they’re so scarce that it almost looks like strands of gray hair rather than actual highlights. 

Because that’s what I needed for a visual pick-me-up after having a baby – GRAY HAIR.

The stylist that cut my hair was someone I’ve never met before.  I really like my usual stylist but she moved to another salon, a salon I didn’t have a gift certificate for, and I was forced to make my appointment with the dreaded “whoever is available.”  He was fast, which was nice, and the haircut is alright.  But sort of mediocre.

And then I went to check out and the receptionist says “That will be $270, please.”

I stared at her, thinking surely I had misheard her.  $270 for highlights and a haircut?  Is that a joke? 

No.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t.  I handed her my gift certificate hoping that somehow by the grace of God a mathematical miracle would occur.  But no, I still owed a whopping balance.  I could feel the blood drain from my face as I handed her my card, the stabbing wound as she swiped it and I could see the machine sucking the life out of my bank account.

It’s really a good thing that we have such sweet friends bringing meals to us recently, because I think my hair just ate up our food budget for the rest of the month.  Though I suppose that will make the dieting a little easier.

But one thing’s for sure.  From now on my hair color is coming out of the box from Walgreen’s.


Filed under: 2nd Time Around,Guilt,Parenting — Amy @ 11:47 am

Dude.  I’m having a baby next week.  How weird is that?

In the meantime, that “nesting instinct” has FINALLY kicked in.  It was significantly earlier with Kaelin.  We had her room finished and perfected months ahead of time, clothes were organized and hung in the closet by size, season and color, and everything was in its proper place awaiting the arrival of our little bundle.

This time around… well, yeah.  Baby is coming out next Thursday.  Tomorrow, his room is getting painted.  We finally got the bedding.  We haven’t bought anything else except for the odd outfit here and there.  I don’t have a rocker/glider.

Second Child Syndrome, you have arrived.

Protected: Sigh.

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Work — Amy @ 10:01 pm

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Filed under: Body Issues,Just Shoot Me,Makes Me Grumpy,Pregnancy,Travel — Amy @ 9:40 pm

Pregnancy is not agreeing with me this time around.  I haven’t been sick (at least not since Christmas).  I’ve been more tired, but nothing unbearable.

I’m just BIG.  And I hate it.

I almost wore a pink shirt for Easter.  And then I looked in the mirror and saw a giant Easter Egg where my reflection should have been.

I did not wear a pink shirt for Easter.

I took a “six months pregnant” picture today.  I’d post it to prove my point but I think there’s some reason I don’t post pictures of myself on this site… though I can’t quite remember what that reason is right now.  Anyway, I look at least 8 months along.  It’s discouraging.  I don’t think I’ll be taking a “nine months pregnant” picture this time around.

In a short time I will be going to HAWAII for my MIL’s birthday celebration.  And I cannot believe I am doing this voluntarily.   When I was pregnant with Kaelin, my best friend got married.  Why do people always plan important events when I’m 7 months pregnant?

Oh trip, how I dread thee… let me count the ways:

  • 8 hour plane ride there… with swollen uncomfortable pregnancy legs
  • 8 hour plane ride there… with energetic 2-year old. Who maxes out at about 3 hours.  And refuses to sleep on planes.  And who can only survive those 3 hours when allowed to watch Dora on laptop.  And whose grumpy factor increases proportionate to how much TV she watches.
  • Maternity swimsuit
  • Maternity swimsuit
  • Maternity swimsuit
  • 8 hour plane ride back… more swollen uncomfortable pregnancy legs
  • 8 hour plane ride back… same 2-year old

Somebody just shoot me now.


Filed under: Just Shoot Me,Makes Me Grumpy,Work — Amy @ 4:19 pm

Remember all that data entry I did?  Well, I just got informed that they’re really revamping their product line and discontinuing a lot of stuff that was previously on their website.  Namely, the 300 items I had already entered.


Protected: Just Shoot Me

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About Me

Hi. I'm Amy. I started this website in 2005 as a place to deposit my journal and photos. It has gone through a few incarnations and masquerades as a family site, but since I'm the only one who contributes to it, it's really all about ME, ME, ME.

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