Archive for the ‘Are You Kidding Me?’ Category

Dear Guy in the ACDC Shirt,

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Peaves — Amy @ 7:35 pm

I do not go to the gym to make friends.  Ergo, I have very little (read: NO) appreciation for getting accosted in the gym by abnormally chatty strangers.

As important as these things are to you, I really don’t care that you can lift the entire set of weights at once.  I’m not particularly interested in why your shoulder sometimes hurts (although maybe it’s because you’re trying to lift an insane amount of weights).

I don’t care that you’re intending to join the military as soon as you pass your entrance exam (which, apparently, you’ve attempted before). 

I know what physics is, but I have no interest in hearing about the complexities of Einstein’s theories and I’m pretty much unconcerned about how excellent your mathematical skills are and what a great sniper you would make because you can do the math to figure out where the bullet would go.

I’m sorry that you don’t approve of the gym’s playlist.  I can’t commiserate with you on the lack of ACDC songs, however, because I have this iPod specifically for the purpose of being able to listen to what I WANT to hear while working out.  Which, oddly, I cannot do when you insist on standing in front of my machine and talking to me.

Really, I just want to do my workout and go home.  Please comply.  Trust me, we get along much better when we can ignore each other.

Lovingly,
The Girl Who is Trying to Finish Her Audio Book

Not Again

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Such is Life — Amy @ 9:50 am

Dear Customer Service Girl at the Home Warranty Company,

When you tell me someone will be calling me back today regarding having my air conditioner looked at AGAIN, and I SPECIFICALLY request that you add my cell phone number to the account because I don’t want to miss the call when I‘m not home later today, it is a safe assumption that I want you to USE THE NUMBER TO CONTACT ME.

Getting a call from the AC Man to say that he’s sitting in front of my house and I’m not home, and that the Home Warranty Company should have notified me that he was on his way DOES NOT put me in a good mood.  Nor does coming home to find that you, the same person I talked to this morning, have left a message on my home phone and no message on my cell phone. 

It’s hard enough to get these guys to come out in a reasonable time frame, much less on the weekend (and also, WHY does the AC ALWAYS break on FRIDAY?).

If I sound a bit grumpy about this, it might be because this is the FIFTH TIME in the last THREE MONTHS you have had to send someone out here to fix the AC.  Doesn’t that sound a LITTLE ridiculous to you?  That by itself should qualify us for Emergency Service Status instead of Whenever We Get Around To It Status.  But no, I have to pull the “I have an infant” card to get you off your butts.

I am less than pleased with the results of your AC company’s service calls.  If the new circuit board the technician is ordering on Monday doesn’t fix the problem permanently, I will be forced to start indiscriminately beating people with my personal fan. 

Sincerely,
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Color Me Flabbergasted

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Such is Life — Amy @ 8:12 pm

Today I left Kaelin with my mom and Koren with Jens, and went on an outing to get my hair done.  Since I only get my hair cut about twice a year, and since I always color/highlight it myself, the chance to get out by myself to have it professionally done was a special treat.  A special treat that I shall not be repeating, like, EVER AGAIN.

I had a gift certificate to the salon and decided to get some highlights done as well.  They turned out ok, though I’m a little disappointed because I was under the impression that the point of highlights was so you could SEE THEM.  Apparently the stylist thought I was going for the subtle “I Paid Big Bucks for Nothing” look.  In fact, they’re so scarce that it almost looks like strands of gray hair rather than actual highlights. 

Because that’s what I needed for a visual pick-me-up after having a baby – GRAY HAIR.

The stylist that cut my hair was someone I’ve never met before.  I really like my usual stylist but she moved to another salon, a salon I didn’t have a gift certificate for, and I was forced to make my appointment with the dreaded “whoever is available.”  He was fast, which was nice, and the haircut is alright.  But sort of mediocre.

And then I went to check out and the receptionist says “That will be $270, please.”

I stared at her, thinking surely I had misheard her.  $270 for highlights and a haircut?  Is that a joke? 

No.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t.  I handed her my gift certificate hoping that somehow by the grace of God a mathematical miracle would occur.  But no, I still owed a whopping balance.  I could feel the blood drain from my face as I handed her my card, the stabbing wound as she swiped it and I could see the machine sucking the life out of my bank account.

It’s really a good thing that we have such sweet friends bringing meals to us recently, because I think my hair just ate up our food budget for the rest of the month.  Though I suppose that will make the dieting a little easier.

But one thing’s for sure.  From now on my hair color is coming out of the box from Walgreen’s.

Protected: Sigh.

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Work — Amy @ 10:01 pm

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Protected: Just Shoot Me

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Candidates Schmandidates

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Politics — Amy @ 11:24 am

I took this quiz.

It told me I was most aligned with Barrack Obama, and furthest from Ron Paul.

Then I took this quiz.

It told me my views were most aligned with Ron Paul, and furthest from Barrack Obama.

A lot of help that was.

UPDATE: And then I took this quiz, which told me my views were most in line with Mike Huckabee and least similar to Ron Paul.

It’s beginning to look like I’m actually going to have to READ and do RESEARCH for this election instead of just trusting the internet to do all the work for me.

How annoying.

Student Arrested for Cutting Food With Knife

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Blogging — Amy @ 1:02 am

This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. .

WordPress isn’t working for me very well – I can’t get it to do several of the basic functions. And it’s just on this site. Which is part of the reason I haven’t been saying much here recently. Must look at a reinstall or something.

Um… Thanks?

Wow, could it be that WordPress is finally allowing me to post pictures? I dare not speak of it, lest it turn into a dream and disappear.

ANYWAY, a few weeks ago, we sent Kaelin to Seattle to spend a whole 10 days with her grandparents. She had a blast. And we enjoyed the break.

I took up a project that I am rendered completely incapable of doing when there are little fingers poking and patting every object within 3 feet of the floor: painting. I bought some pots and benches, and ended up with these:

pots11.jpg

The project was fun, and I think I’ve satisfied my crafting impulse for a few months.

While attempting to purchase my supplies however, it was confirmed to me (again) how I seem to attract the most unhelpful service employees.

While in Large Mega Craft Store, I approached an employee to find out where I could obtain a glue gun. I received the response “Crafts,” along with the non-verbal indication that she was finished with her interaction with me and our conversation was over.

Crafts??? It’s a CRAFT STORE.

With the possible exception of “Nyahhhh,” I cannot think of an answer that would be LESS. HELPFUL.

J has the same problem. While in Large Mega Hardware Store a few days earlier, he asked where to find a flashlight. The employee pointed over his shoulder to an area which encompassed … the entire store … and spouted “HARDWARE” before continuing on his way in the opposite direction.

I can see why these people don’t work in an industry where they have to depend on tips.

Dear Subway Customer,

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Such is Life — Amy @ 3:35 pm

If parking next to your car for five minutes with my windows closed makes the inside of my car reek of cigarette fumes, it’s a good indication that you smoke too much.

Comatose

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Parenting,Such is Life — Amy @ 4:19 pm

OK we have the loudest doorbell in the world. As in, “full-on surround-sound chiming song that reverberates throughout the house and makes the windows rattle” loud. (By the way, why is it that every doorbell always rings the same chime? Who came up with that and decided “THIS is the tune that will forever announce that someone has arrived?”)

Kaelin is napping in our bedroom today, which is right off the entryway and the FedEx man just showed up. I was unsuccessful in my attempt to beat Mr. FedEx to the door, so he rang the doorbell.

DIIIING DONNNNG DIIIING DONNNNG! DONNNNG DIIIING DONNNNG DIIIING!

And then I opened the door and the security system (which is located in our bedroom) sounded: BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!

Somehow, Kaelin slept through it – even with the door open. She’s still asleep.

Perhaps I should let her nap on my bed more often.

The Saga Continues

J stayed home from work today* to wait for the Time Warner Technician, who was scheduled to arrive between 8am and 11am.

At 11:45 no one had shown up, so he called Time Warner’s Customer Service. He was told that the appointment had been rescheduled to this evening after 5pm.

J: “Rescheduled? Were you planning to tell us about this?”

CS: “We called you last night and left a message .”

J: “I didn’t get a message. My wife didn’t get a message. What number did you call and leave a message on?”

CS: (reads him the number)

J: (Blink. Blink.)

They left a message on the phone line that we’ve spent two days trying to get them to set up. The phone line that doesn’t work and apparently has voicemail that they haven’t given us access to.

I am speechless right now.   And for your sake, I’m trying to finish this blog entry before I find the words.

*Which may sound odd, since he typically works from home, but since we have neither phone nor working internet from home (even the plug-into-the-box internet doesn’t work on his machine), he has to go elsewhere these days to get any work done.

Now I remember why we left Time Warner in the first place.

Ooh, the internet… I can finally get my fix. The withdrawal symptoms were killing me.

I hate Time Warner. There internal communication structure must be akin to sending messenger rats.   Because nobody is on the same page as anybody else, and nobody seems to know what’s going on, though they’ll all swear up and down that they know. Unfortunately (unlike the last city we lived in), we don’t have any other options.

Even though we technically have internet now, I can only use it if I’m sitting on the floor in the media room because my computer has to be directly plugged into the box.

The technician came out here today to install the wireless internet and – get this – didn’t have any wireless internet equipment. So he has to come back tomorrow to finish the job. WTH???

I HAVE BEEN WITHOUT PHONE OR INTERNET FOR A MONTH BUT APPARENTLY YOU NEED LONGER THAN THAT TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT A BOX OF EQUIPMENT IN YOUR TRUCK????

Ahem. Sorry. Withdrawal symptoms coming out again.

He was also supposed to install our phone line while he was here and left without doing that either. According to him, he couldn’t get it done today because there was something Customer Service was supposed to do that hadn’t been done (he wouldn’t tell me what “it” was) so I had to call customer service because they needed to talk to me before they would do “it.”

Customer Service had no idea what I was talking about. But rather than wait for me to call them, Technician Guy just left – so he wasn’t there to explain it to them.

They finally determined that the problem was due to the fact that the line wasn’t scheduled to be activated until 2:04 pm, and once 2:04 pm got here everything would be fine.

So let me get this straight… They scheduled a technician to set up our phone line at 9am, but then scheduled the phone line activation for after 2pm, knowing that the line activation was necessary for the tech to finish his job. Again, WTH???

I tried to tell them that no, that couldn’t have been what the technician was talking about because he said there was something he was unable to do, so he would have to come back out here before the phone would work. But they assured me that wasn’t the case. I asked them to call Technician Guy to figure out what he meant, but they pretty much ignored that idea.

Well guess what. 2:04pm came and went and still no phone service.

On my second call to customer service (which was actually my 5th call, but we won’t go there) the Customer Service Rep determined that the technician was waiting for them to send a signal to the modem or something. Which they did in like half a second. I pleaded with her to just CALL THE TECHNICIAN to figure out if that was in fact all he was talking about. She said she knew he meant and left it at that.

Time Warner employees must grow warts if they actually make an effort to communicate with the technicians. That’s all I can figure with the way they avoid it.

Assuming Customer Service Rep #2 was correct, I’m incredulous that the technician decided to LEAVE without finishing the job, as opposed to wait for 5 seconds to have this done. So now we’re another day without a phone.

Did I mention that this is the only house I have ever been in where my cell phone doesn’t get a decent signal?

Figures.

About Me

Hi. I'm Amy. I started this website in 2005 as a place to deposit my journal and photos. It has gone through a few incarnations and masquerades as a family site, but since I'm the only one who contributes to it, it's really all about ME, ME, ME.

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