Archive for the ‘Stupid People’ Category

Don’t Be a Moron

Filed under: Don't Make Me Cut You,Pets,Stupid People — Amy @ 1:44 pm

Ok, can we just talk about something that is slowly but surely moving past the point of “pet peeve” and into the realm of “makes me stabby?”

Irresponsible dog owners.

I have spent the past 7 years living in two states where it seems like everybody, including myself, owns a dog. And during that time it has become all too clear that there is a prevalence of a certain breed, if you will, of dog owners that borders on reckless. Folks in this category are either too stupid to realize or too inconsiderate to care that their pets are a menace.

And I for one, am tired of encountering them and fending off their beasts.

I hope you’re not one of these people, but in case you’re worried about it, let’s go though a few litmus tests:

If you think the “All Dogs Must Be On a Leash” rule at the park doesn’t apply to your dog, you are a moron.

That’s great that your dog can walk by your side without a leash on. It doesn’t mean he will continue to walk by your side once he passes MY dog – who can’t escape because he IS on a leash.  And if you’re on a bicycle, it’s going to take you entirely too long to assess the situation, turn around, get off your bike, and intervene.  Meanwhile, your dog has already swallowed half my dog’s head.

Also, I don’t care how well trained you think your enormous brute is.  If you let him roam freely around the park because he gets more exercise that way, don’t act surprised when he makes a beeline for my dog and clobbers him.  And I don’t care if you’re 80 years old, I will scream at you for letting it happen.  Especially the second time.  I go the park to exercise, not to stand still, holding my dog in my arms until you get your ass over there to call off Bruno.

If you think your dog knows where your property line ends, you are a moron.

Look, if you want a ferocious guard dog to keep your property safe, that’s your deal.  But if you think for a MINUTE that he’s going to keep his ferociousness within your unfenced boundary, you’re just kidding yourself and putting other people in danger.  I know not to run from dogs, but when I’m jogging by your house – on the OTHER side of the street – with my headphones on, I’m not going to notice that your 100-lb German shepherd is trying to chase me down until he has a hold of my ankle.

If you think your large, aggressive/protective dog has any business being off-leash, you are a moron.

Kaelin and I were taking Hastings for a walk this week.  Our driveway is long and passes a neighbor’s property.  We could see the large dog on the porch 100 feet away (200 feet? I can’t judge distance to save my life), barking his head off like he was fully prepared to rip us to bits.  “I hope he’s on a leash,” I muttered to Kaelin as we continued on our way.  Suddenly, the dog quit barking and disappeared.

Guess who was waiting for us at the end of our driveway.  Our walk was cut short as we turned around and headed back.

I have enough to worry about with keeping my dog and children safe from moose and bears.  I don’t need to be trapped in my own driveway by your stupid dog.

If you think that just because your dog is generally benign, he should roam free and unsupervised, you are a moron.

Ok, aside from the obvious issue of him getting hit by a car or attacked by another dog or wild animal…

There’s a dog on our road that is old and probably half deaf and spends most of his day sitting by the road watching the cars go by.  Nice dog, not aggressive.  But curious.  So when I passed this house with my dog, while walking the mile to the mailboxes, he came bounding toward us.

I have a shiba inu.  He’s fast, and a bit on the hyper side when he gets excited.  His quick, jerky movements are sometimes interpreted by other dogs as aggressive behavior or an invitation to body slam.  Also, he tends to distrust other dogs and is quick to snap when he feels cornered because he’s on a leash.  So even the nicest dogs can get the signals crossed and the next thing I know, I’m by myself trying to break up a row between two frustrated animals with sharp teeth.

People, please don’t be morons.  Leash and fence your dogs.  If not for others’ sake, do it to spare your dog from the pain of my pepper spray.

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A Simple Request

On Saturday, we made a special trip to Red Robin, one of our favorite restaurants and one that we seldom get to visit because the closest one is over half an hour away. They have great food and Kaelin always gets a balloon – which, to a 2-year-old, is pretty much as close to Heaven as it gets.

We told the host that there were three people in our party and one (Kaelin) needed a highchair. We were led to a table for two. At Red Robin, a table for two is just that – there is no room for a third plate, and certainly not for the kids’ menu place mat they always give you.

“I don’t think we’ll be able to fit at this table. There are three of us.”
“We can extend the table.”

There were approximately 12 inches between that table and the ones on each side of it (which were occupied). If they extended the table, the people sitting next to us would not be able to get out of their booths. And there would still be no room for a highchair.

We explained this to the host and asked if we could just have a bigger table. Seeing several large tables empty around us, we didn’t think this would be a problem. He said ok, and went back to the front for a new table assignment. He then returned and led us to … anther table for two.

“This table isn’t any bigger than the last one,” I explained to him. “We have three people and this is a table for two.”

He muttered some excuse about how he doesn’t know how many people the tables seat. I stood there blinking at him, trying to comprehend the fact that evidently COUNTING THE CHAIRS at the table was a concept too advanced for him.

He then asked us if we wanted a booth instead. Looking around, I saw several booths nearby that were clearly meant for 4 people and would allow us the space we needed. “Sure, that would be fine.”

He then led us halfway across the restaurant to … yet another table for two.

At this point, I began to lose my patience. “Is there a reason that we cannot get a table that will seat THREE PEOPLE?” I gestured at one of the many empty table around that would suffice.

He looked at the table I had indicated and told me that he couldn’t seat us there because they couldn’t put a highchair at that booth.

I saw other non-booth tables available that could have accommodated highchairs. I considered pointing that out, but was afraid his brain might derail and explode at the possibility of other options.

I asked him dully if they had any booster seats, and the reply was yes.

Then please bring us a booster seat and take us to a larger table.

Somehow, we finally made it to a table that had enough room for the three of us and our meals – and boy, were we hungry at that point. Next time, I may just tell them we have 5 in our party, and hope we end up with a table for 4.

Um… Thanks?

Wow, could it be that WordPress is finally allowing me to post pictures? I dare not speak of it, lest it turn into a dream and disappear.

ANYWAY, a few weeks ago, we sent Kaelin to Seattle to spend a whole 10 days with her grandparents. She had a blast. And we enjoyed the break.

I took up a project that I am rendered completely incapable of doing when there are little fingers poking and patting every object within 3 feet of the floor: painting. I bought some pots and benches, and ended up with these:


The project was fun, and I think I’ve satisfied my crafting impulse for a few months.

While attempting to purchase my supplies however, it was confirmed to me (again) how I seem to attract the most unhelpful service employees.

While in Large Mega Craft Store, I approached an employee to find out where I could obtain a glue gun. I received the response “Crafts,” along with the non-verbal indication that she was finished with her interaction with me and our conversation was over.

Crafts??? It’s a CRAFT STORE.

With the possible exception of “Nyahhhh,” I cannot think of an answer that would be LESS. HELPFUL.

J has the same problem. While in Large Mega Hardware Store a few days earlier, he asked where to find a flashlight. The employee pointed over his shoulder to an area which encompassed … the entire store … and spouted “HARDWARE” before continuing on his way in the opposite direction.

I can see why these people don’t work in an industry where they have to depend on tips.

Sometimes I Think The Amish Have it Right

Low and behold, we now have internet and phone.   It took Time Warner 3 days, 6,531 phone calls and a supervisor visit to figure it out.   And they were only able to get the wireless internet working because J went up there and figured it out for them.

And in other technically frustrating moments, this is an excerpt from the “Help” section of this new web-based email program I’m trying to configure:

  • To reply to the sender of the message, click ‘Reply’.
  • To reply to the sender of the message and to all other recipients of this message, click ‘Reply All’.
  • To forward the message to another email address, click ‘Forward’.
  • To add the sender to your address book, click ‘add to contacts’.

The entire help section consists of those kind of statements.   Truthfully, the person who actually finds that HELPFUL should probably not be operating email.

There is, naturally, nothing in the “help” section that moves beyond the level of “Ridiculously Intuitive.”   For instance, WHY does the “Check Mail” button disappear if there are no previously downloaded messages sitting in my Inbox?   Of course, nothing in the “help” section even comes close to dealing with that issue.

But GUESS WHAT??   There’s even an FAQ section, full of SIX questions that can be answered by LOOKING AT THE SCREEN.

Can I send HTML formatted email messages?
YES!   Check the box that says “Use HTML formatting editor!”

Can I add a signature to my email?

How do I add someone to my address book?
This one’s a little tricky, you might want to write this down:   You click ADDRESS BOOK.   And then?   You click “ADD SOMEONE.”

I have serious doubts that these questions are asked frequently for 2 reasons:

  1. People who ask these questions are not people who can figure out how to submit a Contact Us form.
  2. There is no Contact Us form and no way to communicate with anyone for assistance, and therefore no way for ANYONE to ask questions.

Thanks, guys.

The Saga Continues

J stayed home from work today* to wait for the Time Warner Technician, who was scheduled to arrive between 8am and 11am.

At 11:45 no one had shown up, so he called Time Warner’s Customer Service. He was told that the appointment had been rescheduled to this evening after 5pm.

J: “Rescheduled? Were you planning to tell us about this?”

CS: “We called you last night and left a message .”

J: “I didn’t get a message. My wife didn’t get a message. What number did you call and leave a message on?”

CS: (reads him the number)

J: (Blink. Blink.)

They left a message on the phone line that we’ve spent two days trying to get them to set up. The phone line that doesn’t work and apparently has voicemail that they haven’t given us access to.

I am speechless right now.   And for your sake, I’m trying to finish this blog entry before I find the words.

*Which may sound odd, since he typically works from home, but since we have neither phone nor working internet from home (even the plug-into-the-box internet doesn’t work on his machine), he has to go elsewhere these days to get any work done.

Now I remember why we left Time Warner in the first place.

Ooh, the internet… I can finally get my fix. The withdrawal symptoms were killing me.

I hate Time Warner. There internal communication structure must be akin to sending messenger rats.   Because nobody is on the same page as anybody else, and nobody seems to know what’s going on, though they’ll all swear up and down that they know. Unfortunately (unlike the last city we lived in), we don’t have any other options.

Even though we technically have internet now, I can only use it if I’m sitting on the floor in the media room because my computer has to be directly plugged into the box.

The technician came out here today to install the wireless internet and – get this – didn’t have any wireless internet equipment. So he has to come back tomorrow to finish the job. WTH???


Ahem. Sorry. Withdrawal symptoms coming out again.

He was also supposed to install our phone line while he was here and left without doing that either. According to him, he couldn’t get it done today because there was something Customer Service was supposed to do that hadn’t been done (he wouldn’t tell me what “it” was) so I had to call customer service because they needed to talk to me before they would do “it.”

Customer Service had no idea what I was talking about. But rather than wait for me to call them, Technician Guy just left – so he wasn’t there to explain it to them.

They finally determined that the problem was due to the fact that the line wasn’t scheduled to be activated until 2:04 pm, and once 2:04 pm got here everything would be fine.

So let me get this straight… They scheduled a technician to set up our phone line at 9am, but then scheduled the phone line activation for after 2pm, knowing that the line activation was necessary for the tech to finish his job. Again, WTH???

I tried to tell them that no, that couldn’t have been what the technician was talking about because he said there was something he was unable to do, so he would have to come back out here before the phone would work. But they assured me that wasn’t the case. I asked them to call Technician Guy to figure out what he meant, but they pretty much ignored that idea.

Well guess what. 2:04pm came and went and still no phone service.

On my second call to customer service (which was actually my 5th call, but we won’t go there) the Customer Service Rep determined that the technician was waiting for them to send a signal to the modem or something. Which they did in like half a second. I pleaded with her to just CALL THE TECHNICIAN to figure out if that was in fact all he was talking about. She said she knew he meant and left it at that.

Time Warner employees must grow warts if they actually make an effort to communicate with the technicians. That’s all I can figure with the way they avoid it.

Assuming Customer Service Rep #2 was correct, I’m incredulous that the technician decided to LEAVE without finishing the job, as opposed to wait for 5 seconds to have this done. So now we’re another day without a phone.

Did I mention that this is the only house I have ever been in where my cell phone doesn’t get a decent signal?


Hey, Guess What?

  • I hurt myself from yawning too big.   I think I overstretched the tendon that connects my jaws or something.   I know.   I’m now in competition with Sammy Sosa for lamest injuries.   I wonder if Workers Comp covers that kind of thing.   It was the boredom brought on by my job that forced me to yawn, after all.
  • I dreamed that I had an affair.   With J.   No idea who I was actually married to in the dream.   But Jens’ conscience got the best of him at the last second and he backed out on me.   So I woke up guilty, bummed, grumpy, and horny.   I hate dreams.
  • After 4 years, my dog has just discovered that he has a penis.   He has been licking it for 48 hours straight.   It’s driving us crazy, especially since he sleeps in our room and he’s decided that licking himself is more fun than sleeping.
  • Don’t buy hair dye that costs less than $10.   Especially if you use white towels and don’t want to see it bleeding onto your towel 4 days after you’ve colored your hair.   Just saying.
  • Also, don’t believe the stuff on the box of cheap hair dye that says it comes with highlights and lowlights and multi-faceted color that doesn’t damage your hair.   Bollocks.
  • Tomorrow we close on the house we’re selling.
  • Tomorrow we’re supposed to close on the house we’re buying.
  • Yesterday we found out that the house didn’t appraise for near what we had agreed to pay for it, so now our financing is messed up.
  • The appraiser totally discounted the sunroom, which would have made up the difference in the appraisal price.   He refused to count it as part of the square footage of the house (as a previous appraiser had done) because it didn’t have duct work or something.   But since nobody else in the neighborhood has a sunroom, he couldn’t find “comps” so he just didn’t give it any value at all.
  • Because, you know, if nobody else has one then it must have been free to install.
  • Apparently if you can’t find one just like it then it’s easier just to pretend it doesn’t exist at all than to do some more research and assign a value based on an educated guess.
  • Lazy ass.
  • So we’ve asked the relocation company to lower the price on the house because it doesn’t make much sense to pay more than a house is actually worth.
  • But it’s a relocation company and it will probably take them a week to get back to us because when you have 150 middlemen, things don’t move too quickly.
  • And we don’t know what they’re going to say.
  • So we don’t know if or when we’ll be closing.
  • Annoying, since we’re supposed to move out of our house in 2 days.
  • Regardless, we have to disassemble and pack up our computer tonight or tomorrow, so I’ll probably be offline for a few days.
  • Bummer dude.

Open Letter

Filed under: Stupid People — Amy @ 4:24 pm

Dear T Pain,

You cannot buy someone a drank.

That is all.

i give up.

Filed under: Are You Kidding Me?,Makes Me Grumpy,Stupid People — Amy @ 8:30 pm

since the last incident with the CIWIL police department, i have been a model driver. i never exceed the speed limit, stop at yellow lights and obey all traffic laws, even when nobody is around. i have done my best to avoid any possible encounter which would put me in that situation again.

apparently my best wasn’t good enough.

i was pulled over today and issued a ticket for failure to yield to a cross walk.

even though the people walking through the cross walk were clearly on the other side of the road.

at least this time i will know better than to waste my time and money trying to fight the joke that is our court system.

American Circus

So it looks like Anti-Sanjaya Girl will have to endure another week of starvation. So far, it looks like she’s up for it – which, frankly, surprises me. I was thinking she’d give in this week.

If I ever decide to starve myself for a cause, I will make sure that:

  1. My goal can possibly be reached in increments of DAYS, not WEEKS. I can’t imagine the thought at 8:29pm every Wednesday night that you have to endure another ENTIRE WEEK before the next possibility of relief comes.
  2. It will not have anything to do with a reality TV show.

Although, I will say that I disagree with the people who are mad at her for hunger striking over such a minor issue because they think her priorities are screwed up when there are SO MANY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO STARVE YOURSELF FOR.

Frankly, anyone who goes on a hunger strike for World Peace, or Save the Rain Forests, or Stop the Genocide, or whatever, is resigning themselves to a death sentence. There is simply no way that any major issue like that can get resolved in the time it takes to die from lack of food, no matter how many people are trying to help you.

If you’re going on a hunger strike, it SHOULD be over something trivial, so that at least there is the possibility of succeeding – the possibility that SOMEBODY who matters will think that your life is more important than X and will conceded to your demands.

I’ve been keeping up with her blog, not so much from an overwhelming compulsion to see what happens to her, but more because it’s entertaining to read the comments she gets. Some people just have this compulsive need to hear themselves type, even if what they have to say takes a sudden left swing into the Valley of Irrelevance.

For instance, this was in response to a post she made about having lost 10 lbs:

wait, wait, let me get this straight…you are supposed to have LOST 10 lbs? Man, no offense, because I don’t know how tall you are and everything, but .I am like 5’7 and weigh 115 (if that)… and whereas you are supposedly 23 and from what I can gather you are living with your parents and they have so much concern, I just turned 21 and am in college, and we lost the house that my family was living in in Maryland because my mother made my 19 year old sister, 22 year old autistic brother, and I abandon the house and move with her and her crazy gf to Troy, NY the night after she made my father leave the house and go live with his mother, and my mother drove me back to Maryland in August 2006 since I am in college, and her friend came along for the drive and threatened to kill me and cursed my mother’s parent’s out and my mother did absolutely NOTHING, so now my father has to come get me and I have to stay at his senile mother’s house with no computer or internet during breaks from college. Otherwise I am pretty much on my own. I don’t even have a bf or anything because I am afraid to trust anyone, and it seems like everyone at my college is black, but I don’t want to feel like I have to be comitted to a black person.

So you mean you weighed like 165 before? How tall are you anyway?

Somebody needs a therapist to get all that angst out to. And then there are the AI wanna-be’s, waiting to be discovered:

THIS KID SUCKS… I would take him on in a second in a sing off, been singing all my life, so all these ppl saying they would like to see you or anyone else sing better than him, I will do it and this is not a joke, my dad taught me to sing when I was like 4 and he was a great singer I have a CD I made for him, just from him singing to music, anyone have any questions on that, I will be glad to send u a sound file!!!!!!! Just add me as a friend and you will hear it on myspace… I have sung in front of thousands of people, I know the nerves and was able to overcome them, it was AWESOME!!!! And you know what, would do it again in a second……My nephew was 4 years old when he first started singing thanx to my dad and his first song was BABE and he was on every note and every lyrics, So I guess what I am trying to say is all u ppl should think before u put your foot in your mouth………Sorry if this sounds harsh but I can’t stand u ppl putting J down for what she is doing, I worry bout her, but I understand her stand on this……………Oh and P.S. can u hypocrytes sing better than Shejaya, I think not…………..

Careful, y’all – she’ll “do it and this is not a joke.” I guess for some people, everything really is all about THEM.

Dear Old Dude,

Filed under: Don't Make Me Cut You,Pets,Stupid People — Amy @ 4:40 pm

I realize that you are probably exceedingly fond of your canine companion, and I will even give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that in most cases, your dog is probably a shining model of good behavior.

Even so, this shouldn’t lead you to believe that you are somehow exempt from the area’s leash laws, or that your dog is behaviorally “above” the need for a leash.

Because when your 150-lb dog comes barreling toward my 25-lb Shiba Inu and starts attacking him, I will freak out very loudly while waiting on you to make your way over and “GET A LEASH ON YOUR DAMNED DOG!”

Obviously, you don’t take a hint, as evidenced by the fact that on the return home, your dog was again on the loose and you were nowhere in sight. When he again bounded in our direction, I had to pick up my dog and stand there waiting for you to show up and retrieve yours.

Frankly, I find your behavior in this situation to be inappropriate, inconsiderate, and dangerous. I don’t know if you are really a jerk, or just stupid, but if I ever see you on the public trail again with your dog unleashed, the city police will be receiving a call and you will lose approximately 2 months of social security.


A dog owner who prefers to bring her dog home in once piece

About Me

Hi. I'm Amy. I started this website in 2005 as a place to deposit my journal and photos. It has gone through a few incarnations and masquerades as a family site, but since I'm the only one who contributes to it, it's really all about ME, ME, ME.

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